I am Very Free but you are so Busy. How busy we are?

 "

Today I m free for you, I can spare time for you anytime because I know how to manage time. I am never busy. I am free on Diwali, Holi, Eid, Christmas.  I am free in wedding, I am free in summer, winter or in rainy season. Throughout 24/7 and 365 days for you.

“I am so busy dear son, “I have an urgent meeting I can’t solve your math’s question”. A father said to his loving son who is in sixth standard in high school. 

“"Darling, we can’t meet this Sunday, my boss is coming so I have to be with him, but this is Sunday, she replied. But you know my job is so, he left the home.”

“Sorry I have no time to walk with you; today we’re going for a picnic with my staff a boy said to his mom”.

There are many people speak these lines “I m so busy, I m very busy, I don’t have even time to eat food, I have no much time, I have no time breathe even”

How funny or disturbing these words are if you think deeply about these things. The real busy person will never use these words.  Because he or she is deeply busy in the action which is to be completed very soon. A person who has no time to say I am busy is really busy because he has no time to respond you that’s the reality.

We all human the same amount of time.  All gets 1440 minutes a day.  Don’t say “I don’t have time, I am busy, I have no time” or “I’m too busy”.  In that respect we are all equal; we all have the same allocation of daily minutes. Then why we are Pretending to be busy thing about you as well as others too. On this earth all human eat to live. I started wondering how much people actually say that phrase to each other.  We may become surprise and may be thinking the same too. Just think a minute the following question and find out the answer of them to make you satisfied

1. Who isn’t busy?

2. When did you say last? “Nothing is going on, nothing just enjoying”.

3. Is it something we say to make people think we are important?

4. What is he or she thinking after you have said “I am busy, I have no time”

There are many people who are explaining this social addiction of this phrase. I googled an article on The Wall Street Journal which is an American English-language international daily newspaper with a special emphasis on business and economic news explains  “Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”

It means its clear we have time but we don’t want to spend with you. It may be also that he or she is finding the way to ignore or avoid you. It must be clear here that people often who use this word don’t want to waste single minute with you.

A 49 years young best selling American novelist, writer and host writes about people’s busyness in his column -

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a faking phone call.”

Most people use these words to avoid each other and this has become very easy. We have lots of time if we think but if we are not interested in the things or people then this may be the best way to avoid. Someone I have also realized this several time. I have been a trainer most of the learners pretend to not to prepare for presentation and they mostly say “we are not ready for debate, we need time to be ready”

One my closest students mailed me a story about how busy we are.many students and learners of mine keep expressing their views on the different topic.  

“An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

 "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much

 Misery is enough!"

 "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

 "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

 "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"

 Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

 She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling

 my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"

We can find some moral of this story that nobody is busy in this planet. All have some seconds, minutes, days and months too. But they are not willing to mange it anymore they are unsuccessful to manage it.

 The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

never say i m busy always say. i don't want it now i will do it later. give reasons and time to make others happy or convinced.

Santosh Kumar Chaudhary

 Soft Skills Trainer and Writer 

What are Soft Skills and Why are they so Important?

What are Soft Skills and Why are they so Important?

Today we have been mugging up a lot Things day by day but not focusing on the other side of job oriented skills. We can score well but language and skills pay you more in today’s time. Recruiters are paying more attention on skills, knowledge, communications and leadership. Without the soft skills many a student are jobless.  What are the soft skills? How to develop soft skills? What is included in soft skills?

 Many questions may arise when we are finding the answer of the above questions. Soft skills mean your emotional intelligence quotient. It can be called people skill. Its up to you how do you want to develop them.

Gone are the days when   people used to be judged by their marks and mark sheets? This time will not let you step ahead if you have not got good language and communication. So before going for job or interview or in any meeting improve your soft skills.

 Soften your skills needs planning and understating them properly. Soft skills  includes several things such as  Management, communication, language, decisiveness etc. if you are working somewhere or willing to work your seniors or authorities will seek for  Reliability, Flexibility, Team skills,  Cooperation, Work experience,  Ability to measure, Personal integrity and  Good work history from you. Everywhere we need to improve our own personality so that we can achieve what we want.

 An individual needs a Positive work ethic with Great Interpersonal skills to motivate one. You can develop your soft skills staying with critical or difficult people, understanding your negative ideas, taking feedback from different people finding the weakness and trying to solve may improve something. You can join a group of people or any institute which provide specific training.  and you can read about developing skills following skills are important in one’s life very much

• Negotiation – negotiating someone may be tough skills for you but this is very important skills in one’s personality. if he or she can do it better. The art of negotiating a deal with a client or even negotiating with a co-worker is something that you need to master effectively. There is no course or training for it but you can master in it by doing some great discussions or involving with good people. Listening different managers, ceo’s or director’s speech or conflict solution may give something.

• Team building – this is hardest task ever in your life. It needs lots of effort to avoid rubbish. If you are working somewhere then you start realizing something around you such as politics in office, revenge, insult, more work, work load or discrimination, rivalry which directly affect your ego that divides the staff or team. But you must understand you are not there to this rubbish act. You should try to understand the priority of work and your profile and adjustment with others so that you can be a part of healthy atmosphere.

• Communication – communicating someone effectively may put you at the high positions. Your communications are the part of organization and your life too. Expressing your thoughts and opinion may be part of someone’s growth to. Understand the act of someone and giving someone’s a solution will boost him as well as you. If you are planning to improve your skills then go for it. This is not only for one day your whole life actions and pans depend on. Improving communication and language will give you self satisfaction and confidence.

 Overall I will say there are many things in your life which needs to be developed and these things can’t develop in day. It needs time and alertness as well as right guidance. If you can improve soft skills then you can get anything in your life.

Written by

SANTOSH CHAUDHARY

DIRECTOR [HR, TRAINING]

AMERICAN INSTITUTE, KOTA

teaching skills

Teaching skills:  teachers with latest technology

After conducting several teacher training programs for teachers in different schools I personally realized that there are so many teachers who are beyond the real teaching skills with modern technology. We know that Teachers are supposed to have proper teaching skills to understand teaching professions properly. It’s not being only a job, it should be a passion. What are the teaching skills? What is the role of technology in education?

Let me explain it in short. The quality of teaching is not simply determined by an individual’s knowledge or ability, but also by the contexts in which teachers work. Improving teacher quality thus entails policies concerning recruitment, early preparation, retention (including attention to working conditions), as well as professional development.

If you want to be a good teacher then there is need to acquire required qualities to become a role model in children’s   life. A good teacher will. . .

• Understand the learner’s needs Set appropriate learning objectives
• Prepare well so that the context and content is clear and focused
•  Match the educational methods with those objectives
• Stimulate the learner and challenge the learner
• Interest the learner and involve the learner
•  Encourage the learner – with positive feedback
• Use a style of delivery that suits the learner’s needs
• Evaluate the teaching and the learning
• Refine future teaching in light of evaluation
• Be a life-long learner.

 Many teachers still believe and want to move in the same way which they were taught decades ago. Many of them still don’t know how to use website, social networking, Audio and videos while teaching

There are several methods of teaching in the world such as A. Brainstorming B. Problem Solving Method C. Cooperative Learning Technique D. Case Method E. and Drama Technique.

But we can not use these methods properly without using technology. The need of technology in education is well known in todya’s time but who will train our teachers for these teaching aids. Many students are learning with technology on the other hand teachers are still teaching by text books. İts well known saying that “a picture paints thousand words”. Children learn faster while using the technolgy . a survy conducted by many psychologist  tells that “we retain 10/ in mind from what we read ,20/ from what our teachers teache means by hearing ,30/from what we see and 50/ from what we hear and see means visua aids”.

there are severa visual aids such as OHP over head projector to show your slides, LCD to show diagrams ,videos and audios to make them listen or for live classes ,Fipchart, datachart online e-library ,peer learning wiht latest teaching tools , laptops etc.

For using all these things first teachers must be aware of using it correct way STOP, START AND CONTINUE formula. Where to pause the video and what do you want to show through it.

There are several websites and teachers associations which provides support and free teaching for teachers the best wesite for teachers may http://www.readanybook.com, readbookonline.net, publicbookshelf.com, www.readcentral.com, www.pagebypagebooks.com, www.bookchums.com and you may use these websites too Crayola Educators, Delicious, Intel Assessing Projects, PBS Teachers.

Teachers are supposed to know latest technology, websites, teaching tools, teaching books, top teachers, and researchers and connect yourself with media for latest facts figures, examples and all kind of knowledge.

Happy teaching

By

Santosh Chaudhary

Director 

AMERICAN Institute Kota

ELT [International] 

Pampered children don't love their parents

" You count your money i will count my money " one of the boys said to a girl when they came out from a bank. I couldn't stop my tears these were the children of some farmers who were studying in a college. This was the money which was send by their parents.
When we see the reality of agriculture in India then either you will curse your government or yourself. India is known for agriculture but farmers are getting suicide in west rajasthan n maha,karnatak ,bihar n orrisha too
Being a son of farmer i feel proud of myself to closed to nature.
Living with parents i got their blessing, love n care but when i meet some if the people in some cities i find what dirt things r going on are we going on the right track or somewhere.
A girl recently told i don't think parents are god ....it was their duty to give me birth so will i . I was shocked listening these words from a modern girl whose boyfriend was spoilbrat.
In life we will find these types of example in a lot  but lets see what happens with these types of people .they may kill their parents for their desires n passion.

Santosh Chaudhary

Career in different areas, but choose a good college first

When we talk about education then  we remember our school board, chalks, wooden chairs and some teachers this is the actual condition of Indian education. We have a crowd in our country and we have few schools and colleges. Our problems are lot solutions are less so naturally the qualified people will be found less. Students will buy books and notebooks they will mug up the lessons and put it in the examination and finally who are the best , one who can cram the lessons and chapters fast. Our ministers may be talking about iit, iiit and niit but no one wants to discuss about primary education which is the base of Indian education.
The worst teacher and their methods can be found in these schools. What is the need and who needs quality education..i think no one . The person who is searching for quality education he has no one to pay the giant but attractive universitys in education and the cut off will stop him going there therefore he has to sacrifice.
This is the Month of June ,almost all results are declared. Some students are crying and some are rejoicing on the other hand some lovely children left this dirty and competitive world .they were not satisfied from there results so they planned to get suicide.  When i will check the cut off i m sure some more will start crying. Some children have already planned to leave country just because of education they can leave family. Family is the mist important world of a man which i will write about in next post
So the question is quality education. The topper of ISC indian school certificate board exams RohanSampath spoke in an interview about family " my parents attitude was helpful. They never put pressure on me for studying. My brothers is very nice he gave me company in my mental practice"
When it comes to surroundings in education we find less  things around us to develop mind which more important then the educational books. I personally feel its important to be in connection of good people for all fields knowledge and experience. I daily read four newspapers and in a week six magazines, i love watching all top mist channels Masala, i never miss the chance of reading about different topics. This is not enough for me interacting with new people is passion. I love being praised and stay calm in emotional decisions with my students. The lesson teacher should learn is leading, learning, ready, watching, researching n i m sure they can become a role model

the body language

Verbal and Non verbal communication: role of the body language

Being an English language cum soft skills trainer I realized the importance of body language in various training program and workshop that body language matters a lot in life but a few people focus on it. People are always communicating through non verbal [body] language or their verbal language. Communication - an ongoing process of sending and receiving messages – enables us to share knowledge, express attitudes and demonstrate skills.  The most effective and persuasive communication occurs when verbal and nonverbal messages are in sync, creating communication synergy.

Body language is the unspoken or non-verbal mode of communication that we use in every single aspect of our interaction with another person. It is like a mirror that tells us what the other person thinks and feels in response to our words or actions. Body language or nonverbal communication includes: Facial Expressions, Eye Contact, Touching, Tone of Voice, Dress, Posture, And Spatial Distance

Would you believe that in real life situations, 55% of the messages that we convey to other people are transmitted through body language and the actual verbal communication accounts for the other 45% - 38% in tone of voice and only 7% in the words we use?

Our ability to use body language in a positive way and to read other people's minds through their body language separates the men from the boys (or women from girls), and can be a powerful tool to our overall personality development. Imagine creating a great impression for work, business, and love by being knowledgeable in this not-so-common yet powerful field of study. It is the unspoken tool to a successful life.

Eye contact- Everybody knows that eye contact is of paramount importance in all face-to-face communication. When we look at somebody face we primarily focus on his eyes and try to understand what he means.

Gesture -The physical movement of arms, legs, hands, torso and head are known gestures. They play a very important role in conveying meaning without using words.

Posture - In any face-to-face communication or meeting or interview the way we hold our head, body shape and posture is very important.

People think all the time. But different individuals make different body movements based on the type and intensity of their thinking. The importance of good body language is every time required in job interview, presenting something, teaching and training time, flirting , mirroring , selling and dealing with clients. Your action speak louder than words

Action speaks louder than words and body language is the literal translation to this statement. If time is a factor in the delivery of a meaning, body language may be the way to communicate. This is another essence of action speaking louder than words.

Body language is made available to us naturally. It comes spontaneously. All you need to do is to know how to interpret and develop it to its full potential. Don’t deny yourself this skill. Yes, this is a skill.

Written by

Santosh Chaudhary

ELT [International]

Director [American Institute Of English language Pvt Ltd. Kota

Manage Yourself properly

We all want to live our lives in our own way. The problem is that so much of time, other people, events and circumstances seem to man oeuvre us into situations in a certain way. We feel manipulated, controlled, helplessly stuck in our own lives and yet unable to make things things happen the way we want. The secret lies in realising that we cannot change other people. The answer lies in ourselves,  and changing ourselves so we are ready to cope with all that life and other people throw at us. 

• Motivate yourself
• Think positive
• Receive praise and criticism 
• Calming angry and aggressive people down
• Helping quite,Shy people to communicate
• Standing up yourself
• Appearing helpful, cheerful and considerate 
• Getting the information you require
• Getting answer to your question 
• Dealing with your emotions appropriately 
• Handling change
• Being able to see others point of view 
• Reducing negative feelings about you and others 
• Handling stress
• Making yourself understood
• Avoiding embarrassment
• Communicating effectively
• Behaving appropriately
• Being reasonable

These are some important things which a human should have in ones personality. You may get these things slow by being in great people's surrounding. If you cannot then you should change it and should try.to gain these things by your own way

Wife And Husband. the faithful love

Faithful LovE: Faithful wife and Husband

Recently I have been in meeting for three days not only it can be told a meeting but a training session too for women. These housewives were sharing their experience with me which I am going to share with you by this post what they explained about their relations with their husbands. Husbands and wives should be faithful to each other if they cannot be they are not in good relation. Relations are taken for long time with the help of faithfulness and truth. Before I share their discussion let me tell what this writer tells by this poem. He writes in his blog [logearn explain in his poem with] these following lines what means of faithful wife

“The faithful wife in the Christ
Obeys her husband's word; 
Claims her own authority
By calling her husband, lord.

She will love her husband dearly
As she submits unto his hand, 
Teaches younger women so
In this her family stands.

The faithful wife perceives in God
Her husband is given rule; 
As he submits unto the Lord
But a rebellious wife is a fool.”

It’s true that marriage is not only for a short time enjoyment or romance but it’s for a prosperous family which is hoped by all couples in the world. When it comes to wife or partners all husband thinks she should be faithful  and tru with husbands then why not husband they should also be.

I started my lectures and showed a side related to faithfulness of wives towards their husbands in this program thereafter we were to discuss on this topic. Some of the discussions are following
“I love my Husband more than any words could ever describe.  It would be out of the question to be anything other than faithful. I do like to flirt and tease, that's just my natural way, I just like to have fun and make people feel good.” Said one of the lady whose husband is a doctor and she has been a housewife even she is PG in Science.

“I know when it's ok to be like that and when I need to have more of a refined approach. I'm somewhat of a wind up merchant and I think my Husband likes that in me.” The another lady added her husband is a soldier

“My husband is all I need.  I couldn’t ask for any better of a man. I wouldn’t risk losing him for something like a one night stand. Never… Never It drives me crazy when I hear of someone cheating... I believe that THEY WILL GET CAUGHT.  All it does is hurt everyone.  I've seen this a million times.” Sarita explained well with these woman

 “We share a lot of banter and innuendo with each other and he can be the same with other ladies. We trust each other so neither feels threatened by what is just light hearted fun. He knows I thrive on talking about things that are on the brink of acceptability and especially on here, but if he asked me to rein it in, I would do so. He knows I will never stray”. Another young newly married woman said it

“I value the love we have and our marriage far too much to ever consider that When we talk about Indian culture we find great and faithful woman who are not only respected in our country hut in the world also. But when it comes to man too then you may find their positive side. Being a man dominant country man is hoped all right for all the bad acts. We know well about man in India. They may do bad acts but they are forgiven every time in society.  Soon enough, it becomes easy for a man to look about and see attractive women all around. It’s at this point that a man is TEMPTED with the notion of finding something “easier” – something that will “give him what he wants” but doesn’t require any management, maintenance, or support effort. But we can’t blame all the husbands some are very great and true towards their wives their true love has made many successful stories and families which are the example for the world

What most of the husband think about their wives are the following?

1.   She is my best friend. I would rather hang out with her than anyone else I know. Our Saturday’s of running errands or taking a few moments to talk over coffee at Starbucks, is some of the moments I cherish the most.

2.   She shows me I’m worthy to be loved. I don’t feel like I’m second choice in her life.

3.   She takes me out of my comfort zone. Mary Beth challenges me and she doesn’t let me take the easy, or safe way out of a situation. She reminds me that to keep growing as a person, I must continue to face my fears and insecurities.

4.   She is a terrific mother and parent. My wife is very connected with each of our four children. They all feel loved by her and each one knows they can go to her for help or guidance without fear or shame getting in the way.

5.   She gives me all the time I need to work on this blog. Never a pouty reaction – just unconditional support.

6.   She takes care of those who are hurting the most. Mary Beth recently earned her MSW degree at The University of Kansas. She is devoting the next phase of her professional career to helping those who are in emotional pain and have suffered significant trauma. She wants the rest of her patients’ lives to turn out a differently than how they started.

7.   She is the “handy-man” around the house. If it wasn’t for the special skills of my wife, I would spend a fortune paying plumbers and electricians to fix the things I don’t have a clue to repair; but Mary Beth does.

8.   She believes in me. No matter the circumstances or challenges, her belief in me never wavers. I can tell by looking into her eyes she truly believes I can do whatever I set-out to do.

9.   She has a forgiving heart. My wife doesn’t carry a grudge or harbor resentment for long periods of time. Once she has accepted my apology for something I have done, and has chosen to forgive me – she means it and she lives it.

10.                I still get excited when I get to see her for the first time of the day. During the week, I wake up very early and head to work before Mary Beth starts her day. Sometimes it can be as late as 9:00 p.m. before we see each for the first time. My stomach still tingles with excitement when I know I’m only a few minutes from seeing her.

11.                She tells me she loves several times throughout the day. Every phone call during the day ends with “I love you,” and the last thing I hear at night as I prepare to fall to sleep is my wife loves me.

12.                I respect her. Considering all she done for me, our family and the tremendous effort she places in making this world a better place for everybody else, I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect that commitment. I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect her.

13.                She watches baseball games with me. And she enjoys it; and she knows the players’ names; and she gets excited when the Kansas City Royals win!

14.                I miss her when we are apart for a few days. Time away from each other is healthy and beneficial; the homecoming is ever sweeter.

15.                She doesn’t mind listening to sports-talk radio in the car. I never get the raised eyebrow look that says, “You expect me to listen to that?”

16.                She still likes to hold hands when we take our after-dinner walks. Our evening walks have always been a great source of connection for us. We use this time to discuss our days and to help each other process or solve problems. Holding hands while we walk makes this time that much more special.

17.                Her “I want to be with you” look still makes me weak in the knees.

18.                She loves to cuddle. At the end of the day, when the day’s responsibilities are behind us, we grab a few moments to just be with each other as we chat and cuddle while watching something mindless on television. A few golden minutes to be sure.

19.                She never quits on herself, or on us. I’m often taken back by her strong will (and sometimes just plain stubbornness) to never give up. No matter the obstacles, or the pain, or the circumstances, she has the ability to reach down and find something more to help keep her moving forward.

20.                I can’t imagine life without her. A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Mary Beth provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what.

Soicial networking

The passion of social networking. Is it beneficial or time killer?

I wake up early and check the twitter updates daily. I check all the people’s updates comments.  I am connected and following many people who are expertise in their areas. I am personally following Writers, motivators, trainers, politicians, actors, social reformers, news channels, media people and many students too. I keep checking their styles too. Some time it arises in my mind that are we slave of these networking.

Finally I got answer from several people that they favor it we are neither slave nor addicted we are just following the speed of the word and are connected with each other.

I may be addicted to doing these things. when I feel lonely it gives me company , when get sad I watch videos which motivates me, when I am in trouble I find the solutions on Google search by the different people on the boards, when I fall in love I can chat her, when I go for a tour I get connections with friends

The wiki Answer has its different opinion on it. It explains that “Social networking has enabled us today to climb the mountains of connectivity so easily and you know the best part of it? Most of the online services like chatting, emailing etc are totally free, so even the middle and the low classes can enjoy the services. It is therefore a big merit of this feature that cutting on the expenditure of ISD call rates, we can easily connect to the people of our beats easily, in case they are living in some other country. With the Internet social networking, one can easily present him/her before everyone. What does one need to do? Simply take a stand, spend some 3000-4000 bucks, create your own website, design it, put contents and finally you are done.” 

 Social networking is a recent invention that has the internet still at the edge of its seat due to its popularity with people. This is mostly because it really is for the people. Bringing every kind of social group together in one place and letting them interact is really a big thing indeed. Everything about it lies on the advantages and disadvantages of social networking, and what it can do for you.

The advantages of social networking are more and more
Low cost: it's cheaper to use online social networking for both personal and business use because most of it is usually free.
Builds credibility:  You definitely can gain the customers' confidence if you can connect to them on both a personal and professional level.
Connections: You are friends with people who have other friends, and so on. There is potential in such a common situation.
Face to face networking: A little less personal than face to face networking.
A little more time taking: Keeping up with social networking can be a full time job (or for any of my clients my job).
Scams and harassment: There is a potential for failure of security in both personal and business context.

Just in a hand

No need to remember the phone numbers, contact details etc. One simple account inter-connects so many sites. I traced my teachers and friends whom I left 20years back. So I really like to share views and greets every one through these sites- in this fast moving world.

A student’s group research on the effect of social networking explains his way

·         It helps in breaking monotonous life of individuals as these sites are filled with activities and really have interesting applications which never allow you to get bored which is great since people need enjoyment after hard day of work which these sites provides.

·         It also helps in expanding your business because there are millions of people who are on these sites and there is no better medium to promote your business among you friends, family and others than social media.

·         One never feels left out due to it because you get know about your family and friends birthdays, anniversaries and other important things which are happening in their life.