Saturday, February 2, 2013

the real pain of life: betrayal

Love or lover who won’t come back

If you are in love then you are in the heaven and if not then you are like “nearer the church farther from the heaven” but if you were in love and now you have been far from it then its worst time of your life. Many situations comes in our life some seems very difficult and some very easy. We can’t forget the dear and the near one when they cheat or betrayed us. it’s true but sometime we have to bear it. There will be many compulsions in your life which we have to adopt. “It’s hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does”.
We learned a lesson after he or she left us. Our life is very busy sometime with the work or sometime with the nonsense or senseless activities. Many things put us towards the negativeness but however we have to maintain our social status.
Love comes after the humanity. Man dies for love as well as woman. She may not express it soon but he should also think about her. If he has left she would not cry much she would bear it .she may drink this poisons.
Love never dies it remains forever. Love can’t be measured and can’t be eaten. Many lines you may hear about love.
 A girl who has been in love for seven years now crying for her lover back in her life this is true that what we want may not get but what we don’t, will get surely.
In my short career, I have got several bad or good situations. In month of love I am expressing my grief and happiness to all of them who were mine and are mine and will be mine. I don’t know who will walk with me hand in hand but I am sure I will get the best and I will love her like no one had done so far. Married Life is not to get marry or get child, this is more beyond it. What we keep waiting for in married life should be enjoyed. Let me come back on the same topic in my short life there were many girls proposed me for directly or indirectly for long life sort term or obliviously one night too. This may be bitter truth but should not remain in mind or heart only. But I escaped and rescued from these situations. I became mature very soon and knew the worlds and human problems soon. In the age of college I didn’t enjoy as children enjoy in their college. Such as flirting, cheating, dating or gossiping but I could see them easily how they were enjoying which was not permanent or may be artificial. I was searching my happiness in the thousands of questions which were arising in my mind again and again that what are the ways to become self depend.
 Girls who were very close to me left no chance to show or flirt me but I could guess what they were searching in me. I didn’t or never force them for anything but they did it. Today when they come to me with their kids express it “you were very smart”.
We know it well, we shouldn’t cheat the upcoming life partner but in today’s time it has become very common.
Love and lover both are a serious or great word which comes in one’s life easily.
After she left me I couldn’t stop my tear but I couldn’t show them because it was a heart breaking experience. How she would be living, all the activities and habits of her which were coming in front of me repeatedly. I couldn’t eat, drink and sleep well. But I managed it because my duties, responsibilities and career path were different. I was to run a race and it was a stone came on the road which not only hurt me but made me injured also. I didn’t stop myself, I kept moving and now I can advice you this happens in everyone’s life but it doesn’t make any difference to your career.
Love creates angriness, happiness, busyness, disturbance, lust and boring things writer writes his experience about his bad experience anyone who has experienced betrayal in a relationship knows how difficult it is to recover from such an experience. The person you thought you could trust and count on is no longer the person you believed them to be. So you wonder what happened. Were you just wrong about them all along or did something change? Maybe your relationship changed and so did their loyalty to you. Maybe something in either or both of your lives has changed and they became insensitive to you. Or, maybe you both grew apart and in different directions.
There are many reasons that cause people to betray one another. Sometimes they are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone. Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued. They may feel the relationship is in the way or not as important anymore. Feelings change. And as feelings change so do one’s actions and choices. An individual that feels their needs are not being met in a relationship might feel that the relationship is no longer important or worth investing in. Therefore, they might seek to get their needs met elsewhere. This changes the relationship. Eventually, it grows apart and opportunities for betrayal emerge. one of the writer wrote in his bio
“To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could conceive death, but I could not conceive betrayal.”I have forgotten her completely and it just took 6 years. You may be surprised the 6 years are not just years, its long time which may be very important time of life.
Psychologists Dr Susan Krauss Whitbourne, there are the key points from the betrayal research I’ve covered here, with one message for the perpetrator and two for the victim.
Perpetrator: Say you’re sorry and then be sorry.

As we saw from the Hannon study, perpetrator apologies set the ball rolling toward victim forgiveness. However, the apology (whether you put it in words or not) must be authentic. Show that you’ve learned from the situation and don’t just vow not to do it again—don’t.

Victim: Avoid self-blame.

Interpreting serious betrayal, including abuse, as your fault can damage your mental health. Learn to adjust your appraisals until you truly believe that you are not to blame.

Victim: Practice forgiveness.

Being able to forgive the person who betrayed you will help heal not only the relationship, but also your own mental scars. In the process, you’ll also learn about the relationship—and about yourself.  Your relationship values and expectations say a lot about who you are as a person. As you clarify those, you’ll gain better self-understanding.

Betrayals are perhaps the most painful aspect of long-term relationships and the most difficult to overcome. However, by viewing the path to resolution as a two-way street, both you and your relationships will benefit.
Written by
Santosh Kumar Chaudhary