Monday, June 28, 2010


todays things are going worsened .

 i am not satisfied surroundings of mine.

 what the hell surrounding is there. people are criticizing each other. 

blame game is going three tensions are going on my head ./ how would fight to them will anyone kill me. 

will i be alive. until she come back lets have a fun on 5ht July

Saturday, June 26, 2010

WILL SHE COME BACK ????????????

I DONT  know anything about you but it is sure one day you will realize my pure and dedicated love.
dear lata i dont know what is the reality behind this book 
but when will it this market i dont know.?

sushmita must be happy but you both are crying now. sushmita dont feel guilty.

agar sachha hi pyar karti ho apne surendra se to hichikichao mat

or fir lata ka kys dosh h ap usse q rokati ho let her come tome i will see other 

lata i am still waiting when you will come think about me 

i have lost everything to you until you come at me i wont talk anyone. 
really still i miss you

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

interview questions for teachers

When you get a call from a school administrator inviting you to interview for a teaching job, how do you feel? Happy? Elated? Excited? Nervous? Scared stiff? You don't need to worry about the interview if you're a well-prepared, qualified candidate. Preparing for a teaching interview is a lot like studying for a test. You can review commonly asked questions, think about what you'll say beforehand, and go in to do your best. If you prepare beforehand, the interview questions will seem routine and familiar. You'll have answers on the tip of your tongue, ready-to-go. Below is a list of six commonly asked teacher interview questions from my eBook, Guide to Getting the Teaching Job of Your Dreams. How would you answer each question? 1. Tell us about yourself. This will be the first question at almost every interview. Just give a brief background in about three sentences. Tell them what colleges you graduated from, what you're certified to teach, what your teaching & working experiences are, and why you'd love the job. 2. How do you teach to the state standards? If you interview in the United States, school administrators love to talk about state, local, or national standards! Reassure your interviewer that everything you do ties into standards. Be sure the lesson plans in your portfolio have the state standards typed right on them. When they ask about them, pull out your lesson and show them the close ties between your teaching and the standards. 3. How will you prepare students for standardized assessments? There are standardized assessments at almost every grade level. Be sure you know the names of the tests. Talk about your experiences preparing students. You'll get bonus points if you know and describe the format of the test because that will prove your familiarity. 4. Describe your discipline philosophy. You use lots of positive reinforcement. You are firm, but you don't yell. You have appropriate consequences for inappropriate behavior. You have your classroom rules posted clearly on the walls. You set common routines that students follow. You adhere to the school's discipline guidelines. Also, emphasize that you suspect discipline problems will be minimal because your lessons are very interesting and engaging to students. Don't tell the interviewer that you "send kids to the principal's office" whenever there is a problem. You should be able to handle most discipline problems on your own. Only students who have committed very serious behavior problems should be sent to the office. 5. How do you make sure you meet the needs of a student with an IEP? An IEP is an "individualized education plan." Students with special needs will be given an IEP, or a list of things that you must do when teaching the child. An IEP might include anything from "additional time for testing" to "needs all test questions read aloud" to "needs to use braille textbook." How do you ensure you're meeting the needs of a student with an IEP? First, read the IEP carefully. If you have questions, consult a special education teacher, counselor, or other staff member who can help you. Then, you just make sure you follow the requirements on the IEP word for word. When necessary, you may be asked to attend a meeting in which you can make suggestions for updating the IEP. Your goal, and the goal of the IEP, is to make sure the student has whatever he or she needs to be successful in your class. 6. How do you communicate with parents? This question will come up at almost every elementary school interview. It's fairly common in the middle school and high school as well. You might have a weekly parent newsletter that you send home each week. For grades 3 and up, you may require students to have an assignment book that has to be signed each night. This way, parents know what assignments are given and when projects are due. When there are discipline problems you call home and talk to parents. It's important to have an open-door policy and invite parents to share their concerns at any time. by santosh chaudhary also visit at site/

interview questions. most important

50 Common Interview Questions and Answers

Review these typical interview questions and think about how you would answer them. Read the questions listed; you will also find some strategy suggestions with it.

1. Tell me about yourself:

The most often asked question in interviews. You need to have a short statement prepared in your mind. Be careful that it does not sound rehearsed. Limit it to work-related items unless instructed otherwise. Talk about things you have done and jobs you have held that relate to the position you are interviewing for. Start with the item farthest back and work up to the present.
2. Why did you leave your last job?

Stay positive regardless of the circumstances. Never refer to a major problem with management and never speak ill of supervisors, co- workers or the organization. If you do, you will be the one looking bad. Keep smiling and talk about leaving for a positive reason such as an opportunity, a chance to do something special or other forward- looking reasons. looking reasons.

3. What experience do you have in this field?
Speak about specifics that relate to the position you are applying for. If you do not have specific experience, get as close as you can.
4. Do you consider yourself successful?

You should always answer yes and briefly explain why. A good explanation is that you have set goals, and you have met some and are on track to achieve the others.

5. What do co-workers say about you?
Be prepared with a quote or two from co-workers. Either a specific statement or a paraphrase will work. Jill Clark, a co-worker at Smith Company, always said I was the hardest workers she had ever known. It is as powerful as Jill having said it at the interview herself.

6. What do you know about this organization?
This question is one reason to do some research on the organization before the interview. Find out where they have been and where they are going. What are the current issues and who are the major players?

7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?
Try to include improvement activities that relate to the job. A wide variety of activities can be mentioned as positive self-improvement. Have some good ones handy to mention.

8. Are you applying for other jobs?
Be honest but do not spend a lot of time in this area. Keep the focus on this job and what you can do for this organization. Anything else is a distraction.

9. Why do you want to work for this organization?
This may take some thought and certainly, should be based on the research you have done on the organization. Sincerity is extremely important here and will easily be sensed. Relate it to your long-term career goals.
10. Do you know anyone who works for us?
Be aware of the policy on relatives working for the organization. This can affect your answer even though they asked about friends not relatives. Be careful to mention a friend only if they are well thought of.
11. What kind of salary do you need?
A loaded question. A nasty little game that you will probably lose if you answer first. So, do not answer it. Instead, say something like, That's a tough question. Can you tell me the range for this position? In most cases, the interviewer, taken off guard, will tell you. If not, say that it can depend on the details of the job. Then give a wide range.
12. Are you a team player?
You are, of course, a team player. Be sure to have examples ready. Specifics that show you often perform for the good of the team rather than for yourself are good evidence of your team attitude. Do not brag, just say it in a matter-of-fact tone. This is a key point.
13. How long would you expect to work for us if hired?

Specifics here are not good. Something like this should work: I'd like it to be a long time. Or As long as we both feel I'm doing a good job.

14. Have you ever had to fire anyone?
How did you feel about that? This is serious. Do not make light of it or in any way seem like you like to fire people. At the same time, you will do it when it is the right thing to do. When it comes to the organization versus the individual who has created a harmful situation, you will protect the organization. Remember firing is not the same as layoff or reduction in force.

15. What is your philosophy towards work?
The interviewer is not looking for a long or flowery dissertation here. Do you have strong feelings that the job gets done? Yes. That's the type of answer that works best here. Short and positive, showing a benefit to the organization.

16. If you had enough money to retire right now, would you?
Answer yes if you would. But since you need to work, this is the type of work you prefer. Do not say yes if you do not mean it.

17. Have you ever been asked to leave a position? If you have not, say no. If you have, be honest, brief and avoid saying negative things about the people or organization involved.

18. Explain how you would be an asset to this organization.
You should be anxious for this question. It gives you a chance to highlight your best points as they relate to the position being discussed. Give a little advance thought to this relationship.

19. Why should we hire you?
Point out how your assets meet what the organization needs. Do not mention any other candidates to make a comparison.

20. Tell me about a suggestion you have made. Have a good one ready. Be sure and use a suggestion that was accepted and was then considered successful. One related to the type of work applied for is a real plus.

21. What irritates you about co-workers?
This is a trap question. Think real hard but fail to come up with anything that irritates you. A short statement that you seem to get along with folks is great.

22. What is your greatest strength?
Numerous answers are good, just stay positive. A few good examples: Your ability to prioritize, Your problem-solving skills, Your ability to work under pressure, Your ability to focus on projects, Your professional expertise, Your leadership skills, Your positive attitude

23. Tell me about your dream job.
Stay away from a specific job. You cannot win. If you say the job you are contending for is it, you strain credibility. If you say another job is it, you plant the suspicion that you will be dissatisfied with this position if hired. The best is to stay genetic and say something like: A job where I love the work, like the people, can contribute and can't wait to get to work.

24. Why do you think you would do well at this job?

Give several reasons and include skills, experience and interest.

25. What are you looking for in a job? See answer # 23
26. What kind of person would you refuse to work with?
Do not be trivial. It would take disloyalty to the organization, violence or lawbreaking to get you to object. Minor objections will label you as a whiner.

27. What is more important to you: the money or the work?
Money is always important, but the work is the most important. There is no better answer.

28. What would your previous supervisor say your strongest point is?
There are numerous good possibilities: Loyalty, Energy, Positive attitude, Leadership, Team player, Expertise, Initiative, Patience, Hard work, Creativity, Problem solver
29. Tell me about a problem you had with a supervisor. Biggest trap of all. This is a test to see if you will speak ill of your boss. If you fall for it and tell about a problem with a former boss, you may well below the interview right there. Stay positive and develop a poor memory about any trouble with a supervisor.
30. What has disappointed you about a job? Don't get trivial or negative. Safe areas are few but can include: Not enough of a challenge. You were laid off in a reduction Company did not win a contract, which would have given you more responsibility.

31. Tell me about your ability to work under pressure.
You may say that you thrive under certain types of pressure. Give an example that relates to the type of position applied for.

32. Do your skills match this job or another job more closely?
Probably this one. Do not give fuel to the suspicion that you may want another job more than this one. 33. What motivates you to do your best on the job?
This is a personal trait that only you can say, but good examples are: Challenge, Achievement, Recognition

34. Are you willing to work overtime? Nights? Weekends?
This is up to you. Be totally honest.

35. How would you know you were successful on this job?
Several ways are good measures: You set high standards for yourself and meet them. Your outcomes are a success.Your boss tell you that you are successful

36. Would you be willing to relocate if required? You should be clear on this with your family prior to the interview if you think there is a chance it may come up. Do not say yes just to get the job if the real answer is no. This can create a lot of problems later on in your career. Be honest at this point and save yourself uture grief.

37. Are you willing to put the interests of the organization ahead of your own?
This is a straight loyalty and dedication question. Do not worry about the deep ethical and philosophical implications. Just say yes.
38. Describe your management style. Try to avoid labels. Some of the more common labels, like progressive, salesman or consensus, can have several meanings or descriptions depending on which management expert you listen to. The situational style is safe, because it says you will manage according to the situation, instead of one size fits all.

39. What have you learned from mistakes on the job?
Here you have to come up with something or you strain credibility. Make it small, well intentioned mistake with a positive lesson learned. An example would be working too far ahead of colleagues on a project and thus throwing coordination off.

40. Do you have any blind spots?
Trick question. If you know about blind spots, they are no longer blind spots. Do not reveal any personal areas of concern here. Let them do their own discovery on your bad points. Do not hand it to them.
41. If you were hiring a person for this job, what would you look for? Be careful to mention traits that are needed and that you have.

42. Do you think you are overqualified for this position? Regardless of your qualifications, state that you are very well qualified for the position.

43. How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience? First, if you have experience that the interviewer does not know about, bring that up: Then, point out (if true) that you are a hard working quick learner.
44. What qualities do you look for in a boss? Be generic and positive. Safe qualities are knowledgeable, a sense of humor, fair, loyal to subordinates and holder of high standards. All bosses think they have these traits.
45. Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a dispute between others.
Pick a specific incident. Concentrate on your problem solving technique and not the dispute you settled.

46. What position do you prefer on a team working on a project?
Be honest. If you are comfortable in different roles, point that out.

47. Describe your work ethic.
Emphasize benefits to the organization. Things like, determination to get the job done and work hard but enjoy your work are good.
48. What has been your biggest professional disappointment?
Be sure that you refer to something that was beyond your control. Show acceptance and no negative feelings.
49. Tell me about the most fun you have had on the job.
Talk about having fun by accomplishing something for the organization.

50. Do you have any questions for me?
Always have some questions prepared. Questions prepared where you will be an asset to the organization are good. How soon will I be able to be productive? and What type of projects will I be able to assist on? are examples.

interview questions

Question Rating View Answer What do you think about the college you studied? View Answer What can we (the new company) offer that your previous company cannot offer? View Answer What salary you are expecting from company? View Answer Tell me about yourself ? View Answer What motivates a person? View Answer When the hr ask us tell me some thing about you then what should we include in what not plz help me by giving some examples. View Answer How to expalin favourite spot in an interview? breifly with example View Answer There are two doors one goes to hell and another goes to heaven. There are two doorkeepers, one tells always right and second may lie (we can not believe). We don?t know who is right and who is wrong. So the question is What will be the common question that can be asked to both of them to verify which door goes to hell or which goes to heaven? View Answer What is your short term and long term goals? View Answer WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY CUSTOMER SERVICE. View Answer what is the probability of january 1st being on sunday View Answer Why i should do MBA? View Answer what is the difference between motto, goal, ambition & also difference between motivation & inspiration? View Answer Difference between goal and ambition? View Answer Why did you leave your job at company ? View Answer SIR,NEXT WEEK I GO TO ATTEND INTERVIEW, IN THAT INTERVIEW IF THEY ASK TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SELF,I ANSWER THIS QUESTION WITH CORRECT ENGLISH, SO PLEASE HELP ME. MY EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION IS B.COM,DCA& TALLY 7.2 View Answer What is cc? View Answer If g(0)=1,g(1)=1 and g(n)=g(n-1)+g(n-2).Find g(6). a)9 b)13 c)21 d)7 View Answer What is management round in the interview section View Answer How will you handle confidential company matters? View Answer

interview skills

EFFECTIVE INTERVIEW SKILLS Life is full of challenges. We meet many confront in our daily life. When we are at the stage of entering school/college/university, we face many hard nut cracking challenges and learn many lessons of practical life through them. After acquiring graduation/post graduation, students usually move towards their specialization or adopt a profession of their choices, according to their own interest, keeping in view the market demand. Talents and Skills are the only tools, which could lead an individual towards the door of success in this challenging time. To qualify for a professional degree or a job, one should have strong past educational background along with integrated multi dimensional skills. It’s of no use acquiring higher degree without building character, confidence, and expressive personality. To meet the challenges of professional life, one has to be familiar with many skills to grab the attention of an interviewer, out of which Interview skills are the basic necessities to meet up the future challenges with success. Either you are applying for a job or want to qualify an entrance examination for a professional degree; you should have to be prepared in advance for an interview. It’s the only way you through which you can gain the trust of an interviewer. An interviewer always attempt to decide that why they should select you? What are the qualities, which you have and other do not have? How can you benefit their organization? If you can show your trust, your confidence, your commitment, and appropriate skills, then you could win a successful future. Interview is a form of oral communication. It’s one to one, or one to group interaction, where an applicant proves themselves as a unique person to be the part of an organization. Remember that interview is always pre-planned and structured. It’s a formal presentation between an interviewer and an interviewee. Only those pass it with flying colours, who are original and show their interest with confidence and who present themselves appealing. There are many types of interview like Information gathering interview, appraisal interview, exit interview, hiring interview, college/ university interview, persuasive interview, counseling interview and many more. In this article, we are going to learn about College/ university entrance and Hiring interview. Hiring/Entrance Interview is one of the best known and the most widely experienced type of interview, where an interviewer is taken by Human Resource Manager/ Educational Expertise. To reduce your chances being rejected, here are some basic professional skills, which will lead you towards the path of success in your interview. BEFORE INTERVIEW First of all, prepare your mind in advance, that you are going to have an interview next morning. Relax yourself and do not get nervous, tense or tired at any cost. Before going for an interview, pre-planned few things: 1. Learn about the company, organization or educational institution and do some research in advance. 2. Why should you perform an advance research? 3. Simply to develop good answers and to prove yourself unique. 4. What you have to Research? 5. You can gather information about organizational structure; type of their clients/ students; departments and its branches; past and present achievements etc. Simply search yellow pages or ask your friend or family member/relative who are familiar about organization or you can collect information through newspapers and websites. Prepare answers to typical questions. Practice your answer and never rote learn it. Here are few of the sampling questions, which you can practice in advance. 1. What do you feel about our organization? 2. What are your weaknesses? 3. Why do you want to become a part of our organization? 4. Tell me about your self and about your hobbies. 5. Who is your role model and why? If you are lucky to know the name of a person, who will interview you, then memorizes his/her name properly. Decide what to wear. Remember to Dress simply but elegantly. Dress should be well ironed without crease. Wear comfortable shoes. remember to wear basic hosiery. You can even check what management wears and dress similarly without over kill. Do not Dress casual or wear Athletic Shoes. Do not spray lots of cologne or wear lots of jewellery. Do not wear wrinkled attire or flashing tie. Prepare your file having your portfolio, educational degree copies and extra copies of your resume. Find proper address in advance, that where are you going in the morning. Last but not the least;get a good night sleep. ON THE DAY OF INTERVIEW Take a bath. Do not apply heavy makeup. Always carry a purse or a small handy briefcase with you. Do carry your portfolio file. Dress effectively. Do not eat anything containing garlic or onion in your breakfast. Arrive 15 minutes earlier to show your prompt and seriousness. DURING INTERVIEW Start it off winner. Offer your hand and give a firm shake, else greet them with your pleasant smile. Take a permission to sit on a chair. Show a positive confident attitude and introduce yourself. Don’t get tense. Be comfortable and face the interviewer effectively. Listen to their questions effectively and answer it genuinely. Answer every question with confidence. Have a proper eye contact towards your interviewer. Remember that the interviewer might be more than one, so keep your eye contact with every individual interviewer to make them feel unique. Whatever you want to answer, speak clearly with a normal tempo voice. Do not shout. Show your confidence level at every moment of an interview. Show your certifications or achievements only when they ask you to show. Always sit straight. It might help them to analyze your personality and your traits. Use the medium of answer, in which you feel comfortable. Remember to use good grammar and strong vocabulary with neutral accent. Always clarify your answer. Do not say Yes or No. Never complains about your past organization or employees. While giving effective answers. Do not argue and always give respect to your interviewer. Always keep neutral thinking and try to mould your answer according to your interviewer personality. Do not eat chewing gum, while answering questions. If they give you a chance to ask any query or question, only ask relevant question. TRADITIONAL INTERVIEW QUESTIONS Few of the traditional interview questions, which an organization might ask are 1. Tell me about yourself (in two minutes). 2. Why do you feel that you will be successful in ...? 3. Why did you decide to interview with our organization? 4. Are you willing to relocate? 5. Tell me about your scholastic record. 6. Tell me about your extra-curricular activities and interests. 7. What are your strengths and weaknesses? 8. Why should we hire you? 9. Why did you choose to become a teacher, nurse,...? 10. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 11. Why do you want to leave your current job? AFTER INTERVIEW With a pleasing smile, say thanks and ask about the next step in the process. Follow up. Call them if you do not get a call within a given time frame and don't forget to write a thank you letter to an organization for taking out their precious time for your interview. Few reasons for not getting a job. Might be you lack oral communication skills or writing skills. Your inappropriate attitude could also let you down in your interview. Lack of knowledge about the working world. Lack of confidence. Inappropriate/fake degree. Lack of experience. Lack of motivation. PRACTICE INTERVIEW SKILLS. CHIN UP AND GEAR UP FOR YOUR NEXT INTERVIEW ! By Santosh chaudhary Interviewing Techniques Preparation Before you walk into any interview, you should know as much about the company and the position as you possibly can. If you found the position through a placement agency, they should be able to provide that information for you. If not, search the web or go to the library. In today’s world of mass communication, there’s no excuse for lack of research. After you have studied the company, write out a list of questions to ask the employer. Why is this position available? Will there be opportunities for further training? What are your goals for this position? What obstacles will I need to overcome to succeed? How will my performance be evaluated? Are there opportunities for promotion? What growth do you anticipate for your firm? No one can predict the exact questions that an interviewer will ask, but you can rehearse your resume and get a good idea of a few important questions that the employer is likely to ask. To prepare, think about how you would answer the following questions: Tell me about yourself? (professionally) Review your career, education and other strengths? What do you know about our organization? Why are you interested in this position? What are your most significant career achievements? Describe a situation in which your work was criticized? How would you describe your personality? How do you perform under pressure? How have you improved yourself over the past year? What did you like least about your last position? Why are you leaving your present company? What is your ideal working environment? How would your coworkers describe you? What do you think of your boss? Have you ever fired anyone? What was the situation and how did you handle it? Are you creative? What are your goals in your career? Where do you see yourself in two years? Why should we hire you? What kind of salary are you looking for? What other types of jobs are you considering? Interview Do's and Dont's To Do's -- Arrive 15 minutes early. Late attendance is never excusable. Clarify questions. Be sure you answered the questions the employer really asked. Get the interviewer to describe the position and responsibilities early in the conversation so you can relate your skills and background to the position throughout the interview. Give your qualifications. Stress the accomplishments that are most pertinent to the job. Conduct yourself professionally. Be aware of what your body language is saying. Smile, make eye contact, don’t slouch and maintain composure. Anticipate tough questions. Prepare in advance so you can turn apparent weaknesses into strengths. Dress appropriately. Make your first impression a professional one. Ask questions throughout the interview. An interview should be a mutual exchange of information, not a one-sided conversation. Listen. This is probably the most important "do" of all. By concentrating not only on the employer’s words, but also on the tone of voice and body language, you will be able to pick up on the employer’s style. Once you understand how a hiring authority thinks, pattern your answers accordingly and you will be able to better relate to him or her. Not To Do's -- Don’t answer vague questions. Rather than answering questions you think you hear, get the employer to be more specific and then respond. Never interrupt the employer. If you don’t have time to listen, neither does the employer. Don’t smoke, chew gum or place anything on the employer’s desk. Don’t be overly familiar, even if the employer is doing all of these things. Don’t wear heavy perfume or cologne. Don’t ramble. Long answers often make the speaker sound apologetic or indecisive. On the other hand, don’t answer questions with a simple "yes" or "no." Explain whenever possible. Do not lie. Answer questions as truthfully as possible. Do not make derogatory remarks about your present or former employers or companies. Too many people second-guess themselves after an interview. By closing strongly and asking the right questions, you can eliminate the post-interview doubts that tend to plague most interviewees. If you feel that the interview went well and you would like to take the next step, express your interest to the hiring authority and turn the tables a bit. Try something like the following: "After hearing more about your company, the position and the responsibilities at hand, I am certain that I possess the qualities that you are looking for in the (title) position. Based on our conversation and my qualifications, are there any issues or concerns that you have that would lead you to believe otherwise?" You have a right to be assertive. This is a great closing question because it opens the door for the hiring authority to be honest with you about his or her feelings. If concerns do exist, this is a great opportunity to overcome them. You have one final chance to dispel the concerns, sell your strengths and end the interview on positive note. A few things to remember during the closing process: Don’t be discouraged if no definite offer is made or specific salary discussed. The interviewer will probably want to communicate with the office first, or interview other applicants, before making a decision. Make sure you answer the following two questions: "why are you interested in the company?," and "what can you offer?" Express thanks for the interviewer’s time and consideration. Ask for their business card so you can write a thank you letter as soon as possible. When you get in your car, immediately write down key issues uncovered during the interview. Think of the qualifications the employer is looking for and match your strengths to them. This follow-up processes is very critical. A "thank you" letter should be written no later than 24 hours after the interview. Top Going for an interview can seem a daunting task, but it doesn’t need to be unduly stressful or scary. The better prepared you are for an interview, the better you will feel and perform, and the better your chance of being hired. Good communication is the key to a good interview; you need to know what you want and why you are there, and be able to convey that to the employer. You are trying to convince the employer that you would be a positive and beneficial addition to their company or business. Preparing for the Interview Know yourself. Know what your personal and career goals are, and how they fit with the company’s goals. It can be a good idea to do some research on the company beforehand, to get an idea of what it does, what it believes in and even who the company works with or competes against. You should also study the job description carefully, and be able to talk about the skills you have that are listed in that description, as well as other skills that may apply to the position. Be able to discuss where or how you acquired these skills, and how you might best put them to use for the company. Practice answering questions. While this may seem silly, it will go a long way to preparing you for an interview. Nerves and adrenaline make people inclined to rush or babble, two things that should be avoided during an interview. Practicing beforehand will help to combat this. Most interviews will consist of fairly similar questions. Some will, of course, be specific to the job and company, but you will likely always be asked about past jobs, past projects, hobbies and interests, your ability to work as part of a team and/or to be a leader. Keep your answers brief and to the point, without leaving out any important information. Always focus on the positive. Dress well. Regardless of a winning personality or stunning intelligence, much of a first impression is based on physical appearance. Follow the old adage to “dress for success” and demonstrate by your attire and how you carry yourself that you are professional, organized and confident. During the Interview The first few minutes are crucial; studies have shown that interviewers form their overall impression of applicants within the first four minutes of the interview. Be sure to keep in mind the following basic things: • Stand tall. • Make eye contact. • Shake hands firmly. • Be polite; use the formal address of Mr., Ms., unless invited to do otherwise. • Wait for invitation; do not sit until invited to do so. Sit straight and tall and look attentive and enthusiastic. All of these things indicate that you want to be there and that you are calm, confident and professional. What to Expect All interviews have certain basic elements in common. When you first arrive, the interviewer will likely try to put you at your ease with some small talk. This may include discussion of the weather or current events, or questions about your interests and hobbies. Respond appropriately. Be warm and conversational, but don’t ramble. Remember that your hobbies, your life in general, will reflect to the employer who you are and what kind of employee you might be. The body of the interview will likely begin with the interviewer giving a detailed description of the job. This is an opportunity for you to ask intelligent questions and demonstrate what you know about the position and the company. The main portion of the interview is all about you, the applicant. You will be asked to answer questions about yourself: your skills, applicable studies and training, past work experience, etc. Remember to make eye contact, keep your answers succinct but thorough, and focus on the positive. Be enthusiastic and use good grammar; do your best to avoid too many “um”s, “ah”s, “you know”s and other such fillers. Don’t fidget or exhibit other distracting nervous mannerisms, and don’t offer any negative information about yourself or criticize previous employers. Remember, this is your chance to make a great impression in person and get the job you want. Make sure you are well prepared and practice answering questions before the interview. During the interview be sure to make eye contact, shake hands firmly, sit up straight and show enthusiasm. Be confident and give it your best.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

english language

dear students,

learning english is as easy as you eat food. what makes it easy. nothing only your efforts

IELTS material

The IELTS Academic listening test is one area where teachers cannot help students as much as they can in other areas. The skill of listening is one that is developed by practice and there is not much a teacher can say to improve a student's ability at it. What we can do is to give you some hints for doing the test and also show you the type of question that you will come up against when you do the test. After that, as much practice as possible is the way to improve. This practice can be doing actual IELTS practice listenings or by doing any form of listening in English. The IELTS Academic listening test is approximately 40 minutes in length and there are four sections each with a separate listening passage. In each section there are 10 questions making 40 in all. Sections 1 and 2 are based on social survival in an English speaking country and sections 3 and 4 are based on a more educational and training orientation. The actual tape lasts for about 30 minutes and then you have 10 minutes at the end of the listening in order to transfer your answers to the answer paper. Section 1 Here you will listen to a conversation between 2 people. The conversation is divided into 2 parts. You have to answer 10 questions based on what you hear. At the start of section 1 you will have an example read out to you and then explained. This is then repeated when the listening starts properly. Section 2 Here you will hear a monologue though it may include a second speaker asking questions in order to stimulate the monologue. The monologue is divided into 2 parts. You have to answer 10 questions based on what you hear. Section 3 Here you will listen to a conversation between 2, 3 or 4 people. The conversation is divided into 2 parts. You have to answer 10 questions based on what you hear. Section 4 Here you will hear a monologue though it may include a second speaker asking questions in order to stimulate the monologue. The monologue is divided into 2 parts. You have to answer 10 questions based on what you hear. The main problem that candidates have with the IELTS Academic listening test is that the listening tape is only played once. Therefore you have to be quite quick and very alert in order to pick up the answers, write them down and be ready for the next answer. Another area where students have problems is that they are used to listening to a live speaker in front of them when they can look at the lips and the body movements. IELTS candidates listen to a tape and this is not a natural skill. As I said above, you have to get as much practice at this skill as possible in order to maximise your chances of getting a good band. Marking There are 40 questions in the IELTS Academic Listening Test and 1 mark is awarded for each correct answer. There are no half marks. Your final mark out of 40 is then converted to a band from 1 - 9 using a converting table and this band is then averaged with the other 3 parts of the test to give your final IELTS band. Band scores for the listening test and the final band are given as a whole band or a half band. The converting table used to change your mark out of 40 to the band out of 9 changes with every test. However, below you can see a rough guide that you can use to assess your practice. There is no guarantee that you will perform the same in the real test itself as the test converters vary with each test, but it can be a guide to your progress. IELTS Academic Listening Test Marks, Bands and Results - Rough Guide Converter Score Band 1 2-3 4-9 10-16 17-24 25-31 32-36 37-38 39-40 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 IELTS Academic Listening Test Question Types In the IELTS Academic listening test the same types of question come up every time so it will help you to know what these types are. They are as follows: multiple choice • short answer • sentence completion • notes/summary/diagram/flow chart/table completion • labeling a diagram with numbered parts • classification • matching lists/ These question types can all be found in IELTS practice tests including the ones in IELTS Practice Now question papers. As usual, practice is the key. Listening to tapes and doing the practice questions is the best possible preparation you can have. Practice for The IELTS Academic Listening Test There are different types of practice that you can do to improve your listening skills for the IELTS exam. The best, as I've said before, is to practice on specific IELTS practice material. After that though there are other things. Listening to the radio is excellent as it is the same skill as the IELTS listening test - listening to a voice without the speaker(s) being present. Listening to the TV is good too but you can see the speaker. You could try turning your back to the TV as this will make it more realistic. Listening to the news on TV and radio is probably the best practice you could do with these two media. You can also see English speaking films at the cinema or at home on TV or video. All these things will develop your listening skills. IELTS Academic Listening Test Strategies There isn't much you can do but there some things. First of all, you get time to read the questions at the start of each section and mid-way in each section. Use this time (usually 20 seconds) wisely. You should know in advance all the questions before you hear the tape. At the end of the sections you also get some time to check your answers. Use this time to check through and then turn ahead to read the next questions in When you read the questions you can usually predict some of the types of answer that will come. For example, in section 1, if you can see that the test is asking for a telephone number, then you know you'll be listening out for numbers and the word telephone. In the later sections this becomes more complicated but the same technique can be used. Think about this when you are practising so you can develop this skill. Tips and Ideas about the IELTS Academic Listening Test As in all IELTS tests, the questions get harder as it goes on. You will see from your practice that the types of listening and questions that you encounter in Section 1 are more difficult in Section 2 and so on. This does not mean that by Section 4 they are impossible but they are more demanding linguistically. Beware of some questions which require a number (i.e.: a telephone number) or some letters (i.e.: a postcode) as sometimes what you think is the answer will be read out only for the speaker to correct him or her self and then say the correct answer. An important tip is to answer all the questions as you hear them; don't wait until later. Sometimes people in these tests hear the correct answer but decide to remember the answer and write it down later so they can wait for the next answer. This I feel is a mistake. Firstly, people will very often forget this answer and secondly, if you follow this method, you will have to remember up to 5 or 6 answers in a row before you can write them down. Then you'll forget even more. As I said above, at the end of the test you have 10 minutes extra to transfer your answers from the question paper to the answer paper. Some people put their answers directly onto the answer paper. I feel it's better to write the answers on the question paper and use the 10 minutes given at the end for the transfer. Writing the answers on the question paper allows you to keep your concentration on the questions and, if you make a mistake, it's not so difficult to correct. One area that students don't like is that, in the listening test, good grammar and spelling are important. The grammar part is not so important as you can't make many grammar errors in 3 words (the maximum you use in the listening test) but, if you spell something wrong, it will be marked as wrong. People think, quite rightly in my opinion, that the listening should test whether you understand what you heard and not how you spell something but these are the rules. So, be careful about your spelling! If the question asks for no more than 3 words, use no more than 3 words. Writing 4 words is wrong. You won't be asked to do it in 3 words or less unless it is possible so don't worry; it can always be Don't panic if you miss an answer. If it has really gone, then it is history. Worrying and panicking is only going to make you miss another one. One miss is probably not going to destroy your mark so calm down and listen for the next one. Sometimes you think you have missed it but you are mistaken. If you are calm and keep listening, maybe the answer will come or even be Never leave a question unanswered; especially if it is only an A,B,C,D question or something similar. Guess if you really don't know. There are no marks taken away for wrong answers or even stupid answers. So, have a go! Logic, general knowledge or just luck might give you the right answer! Anyway, work hard and good luck with the IELTS Academic Listening Test! I hope that this tutorial has helped you. Below are links to the other free IELTS Academic Tutorials.

Monday, June 7, 2010

body language,

Head body language Techniques > Use of body language > Parts-of-the-body language > Head body language Lowering | Raising | Tilting | Oscillating | Rotating | Pointing | Touching | See also The head can send such a wide range of signals that the face and other parts of the head are covered in other pages. Here, we focus just on movement of the head as affected by the neck muscles. Lowering A lowered head covers the neck with the chin and hence can be a defensive posture that can occur as a result of any perceived threat (not just physical threat). Lowering the head also lowers the eyes and hence can be a sign of submission, effectively saying 'I dare not even look at you'. The eyes are typically also lowered here. It can be driven by affection ('you are so wonderful') or fear ('you might hurt me if I look at you'). Lowering the head whilst maintaining eye contact can also be a strong flirting signal, typically by women. It says 'You are superior and I just can't take my eyes off you'. It can also be a sign of defiance or caution, for example when showing respect to an enemy ('You are strong and I do not trust you'). Sometimes, lowering the head is just a sign of exhaustion. The head is rather heavy and a tired person's head will sag. Lowering the head can be a part of ducking as the person reflexively pulls the head down to avoid a real or imagined hazard. This makes the body smaller and protects the neck. A single short lowering of the head can be an abbreviated nod. This is a common greeting, perhaps as a small bow. It may also be a signal of power ('I am so powerful people are paying will notice even a small nod'). Again it may be a deliberate concealment, sending covert agreement to a colleague. Raising When the head is low, raising it may be a sign of interest as the person moved to looking at the point of interest. This is typically accompanied by other expressions of interest such as raised eyebrows. From a level position, a quick flick upwards can be a sign of query ('What do you mean?'). Raising the head and looking at the ceiling may signal boredom. It may also indicate a visual thinker who is looking at internal images. Another alternative is where a person wants to focus on the sound and is thus averting the eyes in order to concentrate on the sound. Tilting Tilting the head sideways can be a sign of interest, which may be in what is said or happening. It can also be a flirting signal as it says 'I am interested in you!' Tilting can similarly indicate curiosity, uncertainty or query, particularly if the head is pushed forward, as if the person was trying to look at the subject in a different way in the hope of seeing something new. The greater the tilt, the greater the uncertainty or the greater the intent to send this signal. A tilted head pulled back tends to indicate suspicion, as the uncertainty of the tilt is combined with a defensive pulling back. The tilted head exposes the carotid artery on the side of the neck and may be a sign of submission and feelings of vulnerability. If the head is propped up by the hand, it may be tiredness or an expectation of continued interest ('This is so interesting!'). Oscillating (nodding and shaking) Nodding up and down signals agreement in most cultures and may well be accompanied by smiling and other signs of approval. A vigorous nodding probably indicates strong agreement, whilst slow nodding may indicate conditional agreement (and so may be questioned if you want full agreement). Turning the head from side to side usually indicates disagreement or disapproval and may originate in infant refusal of food. Again, speed of swinging indicates strength of feeling. A head tilted down whilst swinging may signal particular disapproval ('I don't even want to look at you'). Alternately tilting the head at an angle to each side can say 'I'm not sure', though in Southern India it means 'Yes'. Nodding or shaking the head whilst talking is an encouragement for the other person to agree (which works surprisingly often). Nodding whilst the other person is talking sends approval signals and encourages them to keep talking. Shaking the head shows disagreement and they may either stop and seek your view or redouble their attempts to persuade you. A nod can be used when emphasizing a point. The may range from a subtle encouragement to agree to a rapid and aggressive tilt. A short, sharp nod can symbolize a head-butt, indicating the desire to strike the other person (this may be in emphasis or for other reasons). Shaking the head when saying something positive is a negative signal and may indicate the person does not believe what they are saying. Rotating Rotation of the head in a circle is a relatively rare gesture and may just be the person exercising a stiff neck (if they should be paying attention, this may thus indicate boredom). Turning the head away removes attention and thus may say 'I do not want to communicate with you'. This can be very insulting as it denies the existence of the other person. Turning the head slightly to the side points the ear at the other person, perhaps better to hear them. This is usually accompanied by continued eye contact and the hand may be cupped behind the ear. A slight head turn also puts one eye in the middle of your head as the other person sees it. To make eye contact they thus have to focus on one eye. This can be very disconcerting and this 'one-eye' gaze may be used as an act of dominance (It may also be used in the act of 'giving the evil eye'). A slight rotation on top of oscillation may indicate incomplete agreement or disagreement, for example where a nod has a slight additional side-to-side movement, indicating primary or external agreement but with a certain amount of disagreement too (which may be significant if they feel coerced into agreement). Pointer We tend to point at people and things in which we are interested in some way. Pointing the head and face at another person shows interest in them. In groups and meetings, you can often see power people as others often look at them. Likewise, the less significant people are not looked at often. We can also point with a twitch of the head in any given direction. Pointing at a person in this way without looking can be insulting and can be subtle, for example where you do not want the indicated person is being pointed at. Touching We can touch the head in many places. Touching the face is a common sign of anxiety and people tend to have preferred places they touch or stroke when they are concerned. This is a classic pattern that poker players look for in other players as signs of having good or bad hands. Covering eyes, ears or mouth may say we do not want to see, hear or say something. We may touch the side of the nose or stroke the chin when we are thinking, making decisions and judging others. Tapping the head can be self-punishment and hence signal regret, for example tapping the forehead with the heel of the hand ('I'm stupid!'). Note that, depending on context, this can also be a signal that somebody else is considered stupid. The head is heavy and when tired we may prop it up, either under the chin or at the side. Boredom makes us tired so propping the head may indicate this. Propping up the head also happens when a person is thinking or evaluating. In some cultures, the head is considered the part of the body that is most spiritual. Touching the head can be considered wrong in such contexts. Face body language Techniques > Use of body language > Parts-of-the-body language > Face body language Color | Moisture | Emotions | See also The face has around 90 muscles in it, with about 30 of these purely for expressing emotion. It can thus be used to send many non-verbal signals, using its various features in concert. Color Red A generally red face may indicate that the person is hot as the blood come to the to surface to be cooled. They may heat up either from exercise or emotional arousal, for example when they are excited and energized. A red face is typical of a person who is angry. This is a clear danger signal, warning the other person that they may be harmed if they do not back down. People blush with embarrassment in various ways. Some people's neck goes red. With others it is mostly the cheeks. Sometimes the whole face goes red. White White skin may be a sign of coldness as the blood goes deep to avoid cooling further. White skin is also an indication of fear, often extreme. This happens as the blood abandons a surface that might be cut, going to muscles where its power is needed more. Blue The skin can also take on a bluish tinge. This can also indicate coldness or extreme fear. Moisture Sweating is the body's natural cooling mechanism when it gets hot, possibly from excitement and emotional arousal. Sweat is also associated with fear, perhaps to make the skin slippery and hence prevent an opponent from taking a firm grasp. Emotions Here are some of the facial signals that you might see for different emotions. Do note that these are only possible indicators: not all signals are needed and not all signals indicated here necessarily indicate the associated emotion. Emotion Facial signals Anxiety Eyes damp; eyebrows slightly pushed together; trembling lower lip; chin possibly wrinkled; head slightly tilted down. Fear Eyes wide, closed or pointing down; raised eyebrows; mouth open or corners turned down; chin pulled in; head down, white face. Anger Eyes wide and staring; eyebrows pulled down (especially in middle); wrinkled forehead; flared nostrils; mouth flattened or clenched teeth bared; jutting chin, red face. Happiness Mouth smiling (open or closed); possible laughter; crows-feet wrinkles at sides of sparkling eyes; slightly raised eyebrows; head level. Sadness Eyes cast down and possibly damp or tearful; head down; lips pinched; head down or to the side. Envy Eyes staring; mouth corners turned down; nose turned in sneer; chin jutting. Desire Eyes wide open with dilated pupils; slightly raised eyebrows; lips slightly parted or puckered or smiling; head tilted forward. Interest Steady gaze of eyes at item of interest (may be squinting); slightly raised eyebrows; lips slightly pressed together; head erect or pushed forward. Boredom Eyes looking away; face generally immobile; corners of mouth turned down or lips pulled to the side; head propped up with hand. Surprise Eyes wide open; eyebrows raised high; mouth dropped wide open with consequent lowered chin; head held back or tilted to side. Relief Eyebrows tilted outwards (lowered outer edges); mouth either tilted down or smiling; head tilted. Disgust Eyes and head turned away; nostrils flared; nose twisted in sneer; mouth closed, possibly with tongue protruding; chin jutting. Shame Eyes and head turned down; eyebrows held low; skin blushing red. Pity Eyes in extended gaze and possibly damp; eyebrows slightly pulled together in middle or downwards at edges; mouth turned down at corners; head tilted to side. Calm Relaxed facial muscles and steady gaze with eyes. Perhaps mouth turned up slightly at sides in gentle smile. The eyes are often called, with some justification, 'the windows of the soul' as they can send many different non-verbal signals. For reading body language this is quite useful as looking at people's eyes are a normal part of communication (whilst gazing at other parts of the body can be seen as rather rude). Looking up When a person looks upwards they are often thinking. In particular they are probably making pictures in their head and thus may well be an indicator of a visual thinker. When they are delivering a speech or presentation, looking up may be their recalling their prepared words. Looking upwards and to the left can indicate recalling a memory. Looking upwards and the right can indicate imaginative construction of a picture (which can hence betray a liar). Be careful with this: sometimes the directions are reversed -- if in doubt, test the person by asking them to recall known facts or imagine something. Looking up may also be a signal of boredom as the person examines the surroundings in search of something more interesting. Head lowered and eyes looking back up at the other person is a coy and suggestive action as it combines the head down of submission with eye contact of attraction. It can also be judgemental, especially when combined with a frown. Looking down Looking at a person can be an act of power and domination. Looking down involves not looking at the other person, which hence may be a sign of submission ('I am not a threat, really; please do not hurt me. You are so glorious I would be dazzled if I looked at you.') Looking down can thus be a signal of submission. It can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty. A notable way that a lower person looks down at a higher person is by tilting their head back. Even taller people may do this. Looking down and to the left can indicate that they are talking to themselves (look for slight movement of the lips). Looking down and to the right can indicate that they are attending to internal emotions. In many cultures where eye contact is a rude or dominant signal, people will look down when talking with others in order to show respect. Looking sideways Much of our field of vision is in the horizontal plane, so when a person looks sideways, they are either looking away from what is in front of them or looking towards something that has taken their interest. A quick glance sideways can just be checking the source of a distraction to assess for threat or interest. It can also be done to show irritation ('I didn't appreciate that comment!'). Looking to the left can indicate a person recalling a sound. Looking to the right can indicate that they are imagining the sound. As with visual and other movements, this can be reversed and may need checking against known truth and fabrication. Lateral movement Eyes moving from side-to-side can indicate shiftiness and lying, as if the person is looking for an escape route in case they are found out. Lateral movement can also happen when the person is being conspiratorial, as if they are checking that nobody else is listening. Eyes may also move back and forth sideways (and sometimes up and down) when the person is visualizing a big picture and is literally looking it over. Gazing Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table or a person. When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye level or above (see eye contact, below). The gaze can also be a defocused looking at the general person. Looking at a person's mouth can indicate that you would like to kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicates a desire to have sexual relations with them. Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (notice where the gaze lingers). This can be quite insulting and hence indicate a position of presumed dominance, as the person effectively says 'I am more powerful than you, your feelings are unimportant to me and you will submit to my gaze'. Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is 'inside their head' thinking about other things. It is difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at identifying exactly where other people are looking. This is one reason why we have larger eye whites than animals, as it aids complex communication. Eye contact in many cultures is considered dominant or rude. Glancing Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for example glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave. Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk with them. It can also indicate a concern for that person's feeling when something is said that might upset them. Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period. Eye contact Doe eyes A softening of the eyes, with relaxing of muscles around the eye and a slight defocusing as the person tries to take in the whole person is sometimes called doe eyes, as it often indicates sexual desire, particularly if the gaze is prolonged and the pupils are dilated (see below). The eyes may also appear shiny. Making eye contact Looking at a person acknowledges them and shows that you are interested in them, particularly if you look in their eyes. Looking at a person's eyes also lets you know where they are looking. We are amazingly good at detecting what they are looking at and can detect even a brief glance at parts of our body, for example. If a person says something when you are looking away and then you make eye contact, then this indicates they have grabbed your attention. Breaking eye contact Prolonged eye contact can be threatening, so in conversation we frequently look away and back again. Breaking eye contact can indicate that something that has just been said that makes the person not want to sustain eye contact, for example that they are insulted, they have been found out, they feel threatened, etc. This can also happen when the person thinks something that causes the same internal discomfort. Looking at a person, breaking eye contact and then looking immediately back at them is a classic flirting action, particularly with the head held coyly low in suggested submission. Long eye contact Eye contact longer than normal can have several different meanings. Eye contact often increases significantly when we are listening, and especially when we are paying close attention to what the other person is saying. Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are visual thinkers as they stare into the distance or upwards as they 'see' what they are talking about. We also look more at people we like and like people who look at us more. When done with doe eyes and smiles, it is a sign of attraction. Lovers will stare into each others eyes for a long period. Attraction is also indicated by looking back and forth between the two eyes, as if we are desperately trying to determine if they are interested in us too. An attraction signal that is more commonly used by women is to hold the other person's gaze for about three seconds, Then look down for a second or two and then look back up again (to see if they have taken the bait). If the other person is still looking at them, they are rewarded with a coy smile or a slight widening of the eyes ('Yes, this message is for you!'). When done without blinking, contracted pupils and an immobile face, this can indicate domination, aggression and use of power. In such circumstances a staring competition can ensue, with the first person to look away admitting defeat. Prolonged eye contact can be disconcerting. A trick to reduce stress from this is to look at the bridge of their nose. They will think you are still looking in their eyes. Sometimes liars, knowing that low eye contact is a sign of lying, will over-compensate and look at you for a longer than usual period. Often this is done without blinking as they force themselves into this act. They may smile with the mouth, but not with the eyes as this is more difficult. Limited eye contact When a person makes very little eye contact, they may be feeling insecure. They may also be lying and not want to be detected. Staring Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates particular interest in something or someone. Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbeliefs, particularly after hearing unexpected news. When the eyes are defocused, the person's attention may be inside their head and what they are staring at may be of no significance. (Without care, this can become quite embarrassing for them). Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate or deceptive and is discussed further above. Staring at another's eyes is usually more associated with aggressive action. Following The eyes will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person is looking at something of interest then they will naturally keep looking at this. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into a threat. This is used when sales people move something like a pen or finger up and down, guiding where the customer looks, including to eye contact and to parts of the product being sold. Squinting Narrowing of a person's eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps considering that something told to them is not true (or at least not fully so). It can similarly indicate uncertainty ('I cannot quite see what is meant here.') Squinting can also be used by liars who do not want the other person to detect their deception. When a person thinks about something and does not want to look at the internal image, they may involuntarily squint. Squinting can also happen when lights or the sun are bright. Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar meaning. It can also indicate tiredness. Lowering eyelids whilst still looking at the other person can be a part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing back the head and slightly puckering the lips in a kiss. Blinking Blinking is a neat natural process whereby the eyelids wipe the eyes clean, much as a windscreen wiper on a car. Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their eyes open and appear to stare. Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected often blink at the same rate. Someone who is listening carefully to you is more likely to blink when you pause (keeping eyes open to watch everything you say). Beyond natural random blinking, a single blink can signal surprise that the person does not quite believe what they see ('I'll wipe my eyes clean to better see'). Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying 'I am so important, I do not need to see you'. Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy romantic invitation. Winking Closing one eye in a wink is a deliberate gesture that often suggests conspiratorial ('You and I both understand, though others do not'). Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is reminiscent of a small wave of the hand ('Hello there, gorgeous!'). Closing Closing the eyes shuts out the world. This can mean 'I do not want to see what is in front of me, it is so terrible'. Sometimes when people are talking they close their eyes. This is an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored. Visual thinkers may also close their eyes, sometimes when talking, so they can better see the internal images without external distraction. Damp The tear ducts provide moisture to the eyes, both for washing them and for tears. Damp eyes can be suppressed weeping, indicating anxiety, fear or sadness. It can also indicate that the person has been crying recently. Dampness can also occur when the person is tired (this may be accompanied by redness of the eyes. Tears Actual tears that roll down the cheeks are often a symptom of extreme fear or sadness, although paradoxically you can also weep tears of joy. Weeping can be silent, with little expression other than the tears (indicating a certain amount of control). It also typically involves screwing up of the face and, when emotions are extreme, can be accompanied by uncontrollable, convulsive sobs. Men in many culture are not expected to cry and learn to suppress this response, not even being able to cry when alone. Even if their eyes feel damp they may turn away. Tears and sadness may be transformed into anger, which may be direct at whoever is available. Pupil size A subtle signal that is sometimes detected only subconsciously and is seldom realized by the sender is where the pupil gets larger (dilates) or contracts. Sexual desire is a common cause of pupil dilation, and is sometimes called 'bedroom eyes' (magazine pictures sometimes have deliberately doctored eyes to make a model look more attractive). When another person's eyes dilate we may be attracted further to them and our eyes dilate in return. Likewise, when their pupils are small, ours may well contract also. Pupils dilate also when it is darker to let in more light (perhaps this is why clubs and bars are so dingy!). The reverse of this is that pupils contract when we do not like the other person, perhaps in an echo of squint-like narrowing of the eyes. Rubbing When a person is feeling uncomfortable, the eyes may water a little. To cover this and try to restore an appropriate dryness, they person may rub their eye and maybe even feign tiredness or having something in the eye. This also gives the opportunity to turn the head away. The rubbing may be with one finger, with a finger and thumb (for two eyes) or with both hands. The more the coverage, the more the person is trying to hide behind the hands.

read girls body language

Understanding a girl’s body language can save you many headaches further down the road. If you can read body language you not only know the words the person is saying but also what that person thinks and feels about what’s going on. Everyone emits subconscious body language, and it’s time you start learning how to read it. How Close/How Far? Sitting or standing close to you is a good thing. The closer they are, the more they like you. The farther away a person gets, the less they want to be around you. It’s possible that a girl would stand far away from you if she’s got bad breath or something, but if you see this girl all the time and she’s always standing really far away while you’re talking with her, that’s a pretty good sign she isn’t interested. Head Position Keep an eye on the girl’s head position during your conversation. If she’s tilting her head pretty far to one side, this possibly indicates sympathy, interest or general warmness. A lowered head can mean she’s got something to hide, or that the girl is just shy. A cocked head means she is either confused or is challenging you. The Eyes Watch out if she keeps looking at you and then looking away. This can indicate she’s lying. It could also mean she is thinking about something else. If she asks you to repeat yourself then you know she’s probably just distracted. Maybe you should talk to her later, or ask her what’s on her mind. Fidgeting If she’s playing with her hair, necklace, rings or other item it usually means she likes you. Same goes for giggling and general giddiness. Touch If you notice the girl going out of her way to touch you during the conversation, this means she probably likes you. Girls don’t usually touch people if they think they’re icky. Sitting The way you both sit also says a lot. Newlywed couples tend to sit right next to each other and usually not across from each other, preferring to stay close. Couples in love will always try to connect with each other, and try to be in constant touch with the other person. But during bad periods such as break-ups neither partner will put in hardly any effort to connecting with the other. They will do things like staring out the window, playing with mundane objects like the girl’s purse, they will both take active interest in anything other than the other partner.

Friday, June 4, 2010


Don't get it wrong! Reading body language is like listening to someone. Listed here are the possible meanings of many different body language signs. To avoid getting it wrong, please start with the short section "How Can You Read What People Think?" on the right. The Eyes (Part I) Called the "window of the soul" for a reason, the eyes don't reveal everything… but they are very expressive! The way a person looks at someone reveals a lot… and the intensity and direction of their stare can reflect a person's thoughts. Let's look at different scenarios: - Glancing sideways --> could show romantic interest, flirting in a subtle way - Glancing for a prolonged period of time, intermittently but repetitively --> sexual attraction, lust if in the distance --> interest in the conversation if face to face while one of you is talking - Staring hard without interruption at all --> invasive and threatening (usually accompanied by small pupils) - Gazing up and down --> appraisal of sexual attraction - this is true for both men and women, though women are usually more discreet! - Avoiding gaze --> could be lying, or feeling guilty or uncomfortable about the subject discussed. If they are looking away after a long gaze, it could just mean they are "taking a rest", or distancing themselves from the subject. - Gazing regularly --> positive, inviting attitude - open to communicate with you Blinking - Prolonged blinking (as if blinking in slow motion) --> losing interest (or feeling very sleepy! )- often accompanied by a raised eyebrow. To maintain your influence, change the conversation quickly or ask a question to get them to refocus. - Excessive blinking --> showing romantic interest (if their pupil is dilated) --> sign of stress --> could be lying - Rolling the eyes upwards --> disagreement (or exasperation if very obvious). My best advice if you spot this signal: stop and ask for their opinion... and listen to them! Eye Contact You've heard this before… To make people feel good and show your interest, you must maintain eye contact. But staring only at someone's eyes makes it very difficult to maintain your gaze. The easiest way to maintain eye contact naturally is to look at the person's whole face above the tip of their nose - see the picture below. Look at the bridge of their nose, cheek bones, forehead, hair. How to keep eye contact Want To Know For Sure...? The Golden Rule of Reading Body Language: Look for at least another 2 or 3 signals with the same possible meaning - in different areas of their body or communication. Want to be even more sure? Still have questions? Don't Miss Out... > Your Questions Answered > The Latest Body Language Research > The Easiest Tips You Can Use Now Don't get it wrong! Reading body language is like listening to someone. Listed here are the possible meanings of many different body language signs. To avoid getting it wrong, please start with the short section "How Can You Read What People Think?" on the right. The Mouth When you meet someone for the first time, it takes that person 3 to 7 seconds to make her judgement about you. I do it. You do it. We all do it… Unconsciously. Basically, we decide how comfortable we are with that person. Remember, we are wired for self-preservation. In a nutshell… - perception of a possible pain/danger from that person = not very comfortable - perception of safety = comfortable. Once that first assessment is made we adapt our feelings, posture, language, and tone. These first few seconds alone can make or break a relationship whether when influencing someone in a sales or presentation situation, or when flirting with a man or a woman... And the most crucial body language signal to influence our first impression is the smile. This is also the most recognised signal in every country and every culture. The Smile Smiling indicates happiness… and a friendly attitude... Smiling indicates we want to communicate with someone. It shows interest. But there is much more to it… Smiling is a learned phenomenon. Young babies don't smile naturally. They mimic the expressions of those looking at them… But by the time we reach adulthood, it has become a signal critical to making a good first impression. Smiling also has an actual impact on your physiology… We'll look at that in a moment. First, let's look at the 2 main types of smile… - The Genuine Smile A genuine smile involves the whole face including the eyes… More than just the mouth, many facial muscles are in action. The most visible is the tightening around the eyes. This action around the eyes is extremely difficult to fake and is the main signal you want to look at if you think somebody might not be telling you their real feelings. - The Forced Smile Usually used out of politeness... People who put on a smile only use the muscles around the mouth. But the top half of their face remains virtually unchanged. Their smile is also less likely to be showing their teeth. This smile could mean the person is not telling the whole truth. Do not fake a smile. Research shows that a large majority of people unconsciously recognise the sincerity of your smile simply looking at the top half of your face. Body Language: Genuine or Forced Smile? The easiest way to put on a genuine smile is to use your imagination… A few seconds before approaching someone, imagine having a really good time with this person. Or recall a recent situation when you really had a great connection with someone you had just met… this will recall the feelings you had at the time and will naturally make you smile. How does this work?... The Physiology of a Smile In a nutshell, when you smile, your body releases endorphins. Endorphins send a message to your brain that makes you feel good… confident… satisfied. Test it for yourself… try to smile and feel sad at the same time. Your natural reaction when someone is smiling at you is to smile back (remember, you learnt this as a baby). But there is much more to it… When you smile at someone, they tends to smile back at you - partially unconsciously… and endorphins get released in their body. So, thanks to the endorphins, what their unconscious mind memorizes about you is "this person makes me feel good" - a great way to break her skepticism and make them trust you. Now, you see why smiling first is essential and how it can help you greatly when trying to influence someone, or trying to seduce a man or a woman! Quick summary: - Closed lip smile --> a fake smile to be polite, or the person is embarrassed by their teeth (this applies to many more people than you may think) - Whole face smile --> a genuine smile, indicating honesty and openness to communication - Covering the mouth (or parts of the face) --> while you are talking, they could be surprised by what you said --> when they are talking, they could be lying or uncomfortable with the conversation The Lips - Puckered --> tasted something sour or recalling a similar feeling --> sexual interest - Pursed --> worried --> disapproval - Swished (when you are talking) --> listening to you carefully --> thinking about what to say next - Lip biting --> nervous habit showing anxiety --> anger - Looking at your lips --> if intensely, finding it difficult to understand you --> if someone of the opposite sex is looking at your lips frequently, they are unconsciously assessing the pleasure they would get if they were kissing you… If you notice other signs of romantic interest in their body language, you may want to flirt back… Want To Know For Sure...? The Golden Rule of Reading Body Language: Look for at least another 2 or 3 signals with the same possible meaning - in different areas of their body or communication. Want to be even more sure? Still have questions? Don't Miss Out... > Your Questions Answered > The Latest Body Language Research > The Easiest Tips You Can Use Now Don't get it wrong! Reading body language is like listening to someone. Listed here are the possible meanings of many different body language signs. To avoid getting it wrong, please start with the short section "How Can You Read What People Think?" on the right. The Hands - Hiding their hands --> not inclined to communicate --> secretive, possibly lying - Touching your face while kissing --> genuine romantic interest, slow seduction - Open hand wave --> inviting, welcoming - Thumbs --> superiority When someone has their hands are in the pockets, leaving the thumbs out, it shows confidence, they probably feel superior. The Handshake The position of the hands while shaking hands is very revealing of how a person is feeling towards you. Your handshake can also help you seduce men or women and influence others. - Alpha male handshake: palm facing down (usually at a 45 degree angle) --> domination - Bone-crunching --> enthusiasm or domination - Limp --> doesn't like being touched or submissive - Double handshake It is a sort of mini embrace --> friendly --> invitation to trust or intimacy Subtly use the double handshake if you are trying to influence someone, or to seduce a man or a woman. When shaking their hand , briefly brush the back of their hand to effectively create a double handshake for a split second. At an unconscious level, this creates a much stronger bond between you and research shows that it makes the person trust you and like you more. Want To Know For Sure...? The Golden Rule of Reading Body Language: Look for at least another 2 or 3 signals with the same possible meaning - in different areas of their body or communication. Want to be even more sure? Still have questions? Don't get it wrong! Reading body language is like listening to someone. Listed here are the possible meanings of many different body language signs. To avoid getting it wrong, please start with the short section "How Can You Read What People Think?" on the right. The Face The Ears Scratching --> lack of confidence --> could be a sign of deceit (usually the ears alos get redder) The Chin - Resting in the hand --> possibly bored, faked interest - Rubbing with their forefinger --> might not believe what they are being told - Stroking --> interested, paying attention during a conversation, if in silence, they are pensive Adam's Apple mostly visible in men, a jumping Adam's apple shows --> anxiety --> embarrassment --> stress The Nose - Touching their nose when talking --> might be trying to hide something - Nose flare --> agitated, angry - Nose twist to one side --> disagree or dislike - Nose wrinkle --> repulsed Want To Know For Sure...? Don't get it wrong! Reading body language is like listening to someone. Listed here are the possible meanings of many different body language signs. To avoid getting it wrong, please start with the short section "How Can You Read What People Think?" on the right. The Arms - By the side and away from the body --> confident, strong - Closed, crossed --> uninviting --> protective - Touching someone's arm --> sympathy --> subtle invitation to trust or intimacy You can subtly influence people and seduce men or women using this. Just as brushing someone's hand (see Hands), touching someone's arm makes them more likely to trust you and like you. The Legs - Swagger (men), or discreet swishing hip walk (women) --> seductive, subtle flirting - Crossed over the knee or at the ankle --> relaxed, but not completetly at ease Ankle crossing over the knee (mainly men) --> confidence, arrogance or assertiveness - Leg twine (women) --> physical attraction - Uncrossed legs, slightly open --> inviting body language, open to communication - Touching their thigh --> usually unconsciously, sign of attraction (of course this does not apply if the person is walking or dancing) - Hands in front of groin or chest area --> closed pose, protective, defensive, not at ease The Feet In a nutshell, our feet point in the direction our mind wants to go. - Jiggling or Tapping --> nervous gesture or bored (this is not necessarily a sign of irritation as you might sometimes hear) - Turned in your direction --> interested in you If you are trying to influence someone, or to seduce a man or a woman, consciously point your feet towards that person. - Turned towards the door --> lack of interest, impatient to get out (avoid this position when trying to influence someone!)

BODY lingo

  1. Gestures/Hand signals Definition: Gesture, a form of non-verbal communication from Most people use gestures {HYPERLINK "/wiki/Body_language"}in addition to words when they speak; some ethnic groups and languages use them more than others do, and the amount of such gesturing that is considered acceptable varies from one location to the next. Gestures include pointing, (one of the few universally understood gestures) as well as using the hands and body to keep time with the rhythms of speech and to emphasise certain words or phrases. Hand movements Scientists observe that there are more nerves between the brain and hands than any other portion of the body. Therefore movements of the hands, fingers and arms are directly related to what is going on in the mind and can reveal a lot. Having a firm grip, but with a relaxed manner (ie not fidgeting) indicates calmness, confidence and self assurance. Handshakes are an important initial interaction and help in forming impressions. Hiding hands and placing them behind ones back may show withdrawal, or not being entirely open. Is this girl bored and fed up? Is she keeping her distance, or hiding something behind her back? A closed fist held with the thumb extended upward or downward is a gesture of approval or disapproval respectively. "My boss gave my proposal the thumbs-up" means that the boss approved the proposal. BUT 'Thumbs up' translates as the foulest of Iraqi insults—the most straightforward interpretation is 'Up yours, pal!' The sign has a similarly meaning in other parts of the Middle East, West Africa, Russia, Australia, Greece, and Sardinia. Use with care. A clenched fist usually indicates angry and frustrated emotions but can also be used to signify success when the arm is thrust upwards with a clenched fist. Touching your face can indicate tense and nervous behaviour, or indicate confusion or embarrassment. Finger raised slightly “I wish to say something” Finger raised (by person in authority) A warning is being given to pay attention to what is being said If pointed directly can mean anger and a desire to dominate the situation, but could be merely drawing someone's attention to something. Sometimes used as a playful gesture meaning “Got you!” Eye Contact "Windows to the soul...." Eye contact with the other side is an essential part of Communication. Without it the other party will feel remote from you and are unlikely to relate to you in a meaningful way. It is important to be aware of how sensitive people are to it. Eye contact should be a positive form of body language communication, but if it is not used correctly it can easily become negative. Effect of Positive Eye Contact Effect of Negative Eye Contact Interested and attentive Friendly and approachable Honest and straightforward Disinterested and remote Arrogant and proud Shifty and Untrustworthy Maintaining eye contact without staring (considered very rude) demonstrates sincere interest in the other person. Cultural differences must be considered in determining proper eye contact. Eye contact is crucial to establishing a connection and a sense of trust between the individuals involved, and regular, friendly eye contact actively shows the other person that you are interested in him and what he has to say. Gazing and Staring We often tend to judge people by the amount of eye contact we have with them. Research by Kleinke and his colleagues (1974) has shown that • we are more likely to look more at people we like, and consequently when the level of eye contact is high, we interpret this positively • that people interpret low levels of gazing as inattentiveness • high gazing as sincerity • But if we look too long (stare) at someone, it is usually interpreted negatively An interesting study by Greenbaum and Rosenfeld (1978) found that when a person stared at drivers stopped at red lights, the drivers drove off more quickly when the light changed. Thus, although we enjoy eye contact, we try to evade people who stare at us and make us feel uncomfortable Eye-rolling This is when a person moves his or her pupils to the top of their eyes to indicate that someone is wasting your valuable time" or as a sign of frustration. Body Posture Posture is important, particularly when taken in combination with other body language. Consider the following 2 scenarios: Would you feel confident about what this man is saying? Slouching forward can indicate someone who is saying something without conviction. His posture shows that he is not on top form just now. He also appears to be lacking interest in the conversation. The upright posture demonstrates adult, assertive behaviour with no hidden meaning in the communication. This posture indicates that the person has conviction and confidence in what they are saying. Postures that signal defensive attitudes and rejection include : folded arms, crossed legs body turned away from speaker Mirroring In any communication there is a natural tendency to mirror the body position of the person you are talking to, and this tends to result in a more relaxed and agreeable atmosphere. Oral and electronic communications Electronic Communications Cell phones and e-mail may have become common forms of communication in the 21st century, but centuries of evolution have made face-to-face communication man's preferred method, says Dr. Ned Kock, director of the E-Collaboration Research Center in Temple University's Fox School of Business and Management. He argues that all other forms of communication require more thought and effort. Method Type Benefits Costs Telephones Oral Direct Personal contact 2 way communications (real time) Uses Tone of voice Instant feedback No written records exists of what has (or has not) been discussed Difficult to convey lots of detailed information Voice mail and messaging Oral /written Voice mail can be picked up from remote locations when convenient. Message gives record Difficult to quickly gather thoughts to compose voice message. Text messages too brief eMail Written Can send out in an instant Will be received at recipient's convenience Ability to attach files Privacy and confidentiality safeguarded Requires thought to compose (takes longer) Needs care with tone of written word Volume of email and time taken to deal with them Fax Written/pictorial Wide user base Easy to operate Multiple postings Expensive to operate and equipment costs are high Using the Telephone Many people find it easier to use the telephone than write. In business and commercial concerns it is quick and easy but it is not always used effectively. It is more difficult to establish rapport on the telephone so it is important that anyone dealing with customers cultivates a good telephone manner. There are four stages to making a telephone call • preparation • introductions • the message • the Action Preparation • mentally prepare what you want to say • have the relevant paperwork to hand • have a pad available for making notes (scraps of paper get lost) 1. Introductions - The Verbal Handshake • introduce yourself • establish whether it is convenient to speak 1. The Message • use open questions to develop the dialogue • use closed questions to establish facts • demonstrate active listening - “yes”, “mmm”, “fine”, “really”, “right” • summarise, paraphrase to check understanding • get feedback 1. Action • offer help • volunteer information • outline the action you are going to take People are put at ease by "mirroring" and you should try to do this - but in a subtle way or they may feel you are parodying their body language. Activity Next time your speaking in a group, try to notice who among your listeners is sitting or standing in the same position as you are. Then try changing your position (i.e. crossing your leg, folding / unfolding your arms...) Those who match your body positioning, are silently signaling their approval or agreement. Stronger feelings of agreement/approval include nods and pursing of lips. Personal Space When people talk to each other they tend to stand a distance apart from each other. People have an invisible boundary around themselves If someone comes too close, they will feel uncomfortable and move away, unless the person is family or trusted friend. Surprisingly,this sense of boundary is cultural, and the average personal distance varies. Americans tend to require more personal space than in other cultures. So if you try to get too close to an American during your conversation, he or she will feel that you are "in their face" and will try to back away. Also, try to avoid physical contact, since this may also lead to discomfort. Touching is a bit too intimate for casual acquaintances. Don't put your arm around their shoulder, touch their face, or hold their hand. Shaking hands when you initially meet or part is acceptable, as this is only momentary. Establishing and maintaining relationships with customers Effective Communication Skills Effective Communications are the essence of good Customer Relations Communication is essential and needs to be continuously successful. It must be successful in respect of both internal and external customers. Communication is the cornerstone of quality. Objectives of Communicating with Customers • communicating to ask for ideas or offer suggestions • communicating to show you are listening and that you understand • communicating to maintain or improve the customer’s self-esteem Why do we communicate? 1) To be received 2) To be understood 3) To be accepted 4) To get action Click here to check out the Communication Process • Oral and electronic communications • Questions • Non Verbal Communication • Listening Establishing and maintaining relationships with customers Effective Communication Skills Questions Questions are used to gather information. They can take both oral and written forms. Generally speaking we tend to ask questions badly and we inhibit the amount of information we could have gained. What makes a good question? One that "asks" for the right information and that is understood. Types of Questions Open questions Used to gather information “How may I help you?” “Which colours suit you best?” Open questions allow the customer to develop their own answer and open up the discussion and build a dialogue. Closed questions Encourage a Yes/No or one word answer. “Have you got a single room?” or “What fuel system do you use?” Used to establish single facts only. Get necessary answers quickly. Multiple questions A string of several questions at once. “Are you looking for a specific make? This is a nice colour don’t you think? Or we could order one of those other ones if you prefer? Would you like this one or would you be prepared to wait until the new stock comes in?” Should be avoided - response is either to the last or the easiest question, and its irritating! Leading questions “Oh! I see you’ve come back again, you must have liked the way we dealt with you the last time then?” Probing questions Closing questions which seek specific information in a fact finding situation. “What is your date of birth? “How long have you lived there?” Reflective questions Used in situations when the customer is upset or unclear. “You seem to feel upset about ....?” “If I understand you correctly you....?” Hypo-thetical questions “What would you do if you won the lottery?” Comparison “Which of these cakes do you prefer?” Offers the customer a choice and helps them make up their mind. Silence A short pause (up to 5 seconds) is a courtesy as it allows the customer to collect their thoughts. A longer pause (say 5-20 seconds) will encourage a customer to share information they may want to keep to themselves. A really long pause (over 20 seconds) can be used to pressurise a customer eg to disclose confidential information, or to obtain confessions or concessions. Establishing and maintaining relationships with customers Effective Communication Skills Listening Stephen Covey wrote "Seek first to understand, then to be understood" That's correct, studies have estimated that only 15% of listening is effective. What are the skills involved with Effective Listening? You probably spend a lot of your time using your listening skills, so why aren't you better at it? Because, like other skills, listening takes practice and through practice can be improved. What does it mean to really listen? Real listening is an active process that has 3 basic steps. Hearing Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a colleague talking about a delayed delivery, if you can repeat the fact “the delivery has been delayed”, then you have heard what has been said. Understanding The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. To take the previous example, you hear about the delayed delivery and think what this may mean – will your customers be unhappy because goods they were waiting for are unavailable? Judging After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense. How does my colleague know? Do I need to check? Listening Out Loud - giving feedback A good listener is not just a silent receptacle, passively receiving the thoughts and feelings of others. To be an effective listener, you must respond with verbal and nonverbal cues which let the speaker know -- actually prove -- that you are listening and understanding. These responses are called feedback. Verbal feedback works best when delivered in the form of brief statements, rather than questions. (Your questions usually get answered if you wait.) Statements allow you to paraphrase and reflect what you've heard, which affirms the speaker's success at communicating and encourages the speaker to elaborate further or delve more deeply into the topic. Meaningful exchanges are built on feedback. Empathy In order to accurately feed back a person's thoughts and feelings, you have to be consciously, actively engaged in the process of listening. Hearing a statement, you create a mental model, vicariously experiencing what the speaker is describing, feeling the speaker's feelings - this process is called empathy. When you actively convey your sense of the other's feelings and issues - you are demonstrating empathy. The need to show empathy increases when a person is feeling negative emotions. Consider the following: • Empathy has nothing to do with giving in • One can be empathic and yet disagree with another person • One can be empathic and confirm you understand what another person is saying, but have an entirely different view of the situation How to Listen Well Give your full attention to the person who is speaking. Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room. Concentrate on what is being said... It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say - but you may be wrong Don’t interrupt Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers like to complete what they have to say. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are. Really listen – don’t just wait for your turn to speak! Listen for main ideas The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to remember is..." Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said in the form of a question, so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. “So you would like me to…..?” Give feedback Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. Thinking fast Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech • Barriers to Listening Establishing and maintaining relationships with customers Effective Communication Skills Listening Barriers to Listening "A number of people are sharing a car on the way to a business seminar. It's a two hour drive. The noise inside the car is like an orchestra tuning up. Several people are talking at once -- each with an idea to express concerning the issue under discussion. When any one person is determined to make a point, he/she gets louder, defeating other peoples’ ideas with decibel power." These people are not communicating because they are not LISTENING. Barriers to Listening Listening takes time or, more accurately, you have to take time to listen. A life filled with back-to-back commitments offers little leeway for listening. Similarly, a mind constantly buzzing with plans, dreams, schemes and anxieties is difficult to clear. Good listening requires the temporary suspension of all unrelated thoughts -- a blank canvas. In order to become an effective listener, you have to learn to manage what goes on in your own mind. Technology, for all its glorious gifts, has erected new barriers to listening. Face-to-face meetings and telephone conversations (priceless listening opportunities) are being replaced by email and the sterile anonymity of electronic meeting rooms. Other barriers to listening include: 1. worry, fear, anger, grief and depression 2. individual bias and prejudice 3. semantics and language differences 4. noise and verbal "clutter" 5. preoccupation, boredom and shrinking attention spans Read the following, and try to think of an example of when you have observed the behaviour described, and consider how it made you feel.... Pseudo Listening Pretending to listen - may be listening to another conversation in the room, or thinking about something else Scoring Points Relating everything we hear to our own experience - “Oh! that’s nothing. Wait till you hear what happened to me last week” Mind Reading Predicting what the other person is really thinking. Saying to ourselves - “I bet that’s not the real reason she came here” Rehearsing Practising what we are going to say next - preparing a clever or witty response and missing what is being said Cherry Picking Listening for a key piece of information then switching off. Hearing only what you want to hear. Filling Gaps Throwing in a word here and there when there is a natural pause Labelling Putting people into a category before hearing all the evidence - “a typical salesman” - or not listening to someone you think is a rambler Duelling Intervening here and there with defensive remark - “Well at least we deliver goods on time” - “You won’t find us overcharging” Side Stepping Sentiment Responding to expressions of emotion with clich├ęs or jocular remarks - “It’s not the end of the world is it?” - “Cheer up - tomorrow’s another day”