Sunday, October 23, 2011

समझें बॉडी लैंग्वेज


अगर आप बॉडी लैंग्वेज को समझते हैं तो बातचीत के दौरान आप सामने वाले की विभिन्न मुद्राओं को देखकर उसके मनोभावों को कहे बिना भी समझ सकते हैं। वहीं बॉडी लैंग्वेज की समझ रखने वाले इसका भरपूर फायदा उठाते हैं।
संप्रेषण विज्ञान पर काम करने वाले शोधार्थियों का मानना है कि हम जो कुछ भी कहते हैं उसके साथ यदि सही शारीरिक भाषा को भी जोड़ दिया जाए, तो हम उसके अर्थ का अधिक-से-अधिक सटीक संप्रेषण करने में सफल हो सकते हैं।
यहां कुछ शारीरिक भंगिमाओं और मुद्राओं और उनके अर्थ की एक सूची दी जा रही है, लेकिन अलग-अलग परिस्थितियों में इसके अर्थ बदल भी सकते हैं।
मुद्राएं (अर्थ)
  1. आगे की ओर पसरा हुआ हाथ (याचना करना)
  2. मुखाकृति बनाना (धीरज की कमी या अधीर)
  3. कंधे घुमाना फिराना या उचकाना (विदा होना, अनभिज्ञता जाहिर करना)
  4. मेज पर उंगलियों से बजाना (बेचैनी)
  5. मुट्ठी भींचना और थरथराना (गुस्सा)
  6. आगे की ओर उठी और सामने दिखती हथेली (रकिए और इंतजार कीजिए)
  7. अंगूठा ऊपर उठा हुआ (सफलता)
  8. अंगूठा गिरा हुआ (नुकसान)
  9. मुट्ठी बंद करना (डर)
  10. आंख मींचना (ऊबना)
  11. हाथ से किसी एक दिशा की ओर इशारा करना (जाने के लिए कहना)
  12. तेज ताली बजाना (स्वीकृति)
  13. धीरे से ताली बजाना (अस्वीकार, नापसंदगी)
  • किसी भी व्यक्ति की लोकप्रियता उसकी शक्ति से नहीं नापी जा सकती, बल्कि देह भाषा आपके व्यक्तित्व का आइना है और आइना कभी झूठ नहीं बोलता।
  • अकेले रहने की आदत डालिए और एकांत से मिलने वाले लाभों को भुनाइए, क्योंकि वे लाभ आपको सफलता की ओर ले जाएंगे।
  • यदि आपकी जेब में पैसा नहीं है, तब आप शहद की तरह मीठा बोलिए। गुस्से को पी जाइए और आगे बढ़ने का मार्ग खोजिए, क्योंकि यह देह भाषा का एक हिस्सा है, जो आपको बड़ा आदमी बनाएगा।
  • बुरी आदतों में सुधार करने की बजाय, उन्हें छोड़ने की कोशिश करें, क्योंकि बुरी आदतें आपकी देह भाषा पर बुरा प्रभाव डालती हैं।
  • सुनने में फुर्तीले, बोलने में सुस्त तथा क्रोध करने में अधिक सुस्त बनो। फिर सफलता के बंद दरवाजे अपने आप खुलने लगेंगे।
  • बेईमान होने की अपेक्षा आपका गरीब होना ज्यादा अच्छा है, क्योंकि देह भाषा आपके बेईमान होने की पोल खोल देगी।
  • श्रेष्ठता तब आती है, जब एक व्यक्ति दूसरों की तुलना में खुद अपने से ज्यादा सवाल पूछता है। फिर उसकी देह भाषा उसी के अनुसार बन जाती है।
  • प्रतिष्ठा के बिना श्रेष्ठता आ सकती है, लेकिन बिना श्रेष्ठता के प्रतिष्ठा का कोई महत्व नहीं है, क्योंकि प्रतिष्ठा ही मनुष्य को आगे बढ़ते रहने का रास्ता दिखाती है।
  • देह भाषा में खुशामद का कोई महत्व नहीं है, लेकिन प्रशंसा का देह भाषा में बहुत महत्व है, क्योंकि प्रशंसा से देह भाषा में निखार आता है।

Monday, October 17, 2011

How to get over a bad break up

How to get over a bad break up

There's no way around it. If you care about someone and you break up, it's going to hurt. The pain you are feeling is a normal part of the healing process and it will pass - if you let it - even if it feels like it's going to stay with you forever. Just like when you're trying to get over an illness, there are things you can do to help yourself get better sooner. Here are some of the things that have worked for me in the past. Contents at a Glance Avoid locking yourself away completely Give yourself time to heal Shift your focus Write through it Take care of your body Treat yourself More Avoid locking yourself away completely
After a bad break up, some people like to hide away and not see anyone and others are completely the opposite and like to surround themselves with friends and do anything they can to avoid being alone. You probably know which method works better for you and there's nothing wrong with either of them, unless you take it to the extreme.
If you are generally a social person but distance yourself from your friends and family when down, you may end up feeling a bit alienated and spend too much time wallowing in your unhappiness. Making time to get out of the house and see people every once in a while, even if all you can manage is a coffee somewhere quiet with one or two good friends.
Look for people who have a calming influence on you or, alternatively, if you are feeling listless and gloomy, ones who can jerk you out of a bad mood. Some people are so afraid of their own thoughts and feelings after a break up, that they become complete social butterflies, never giving themselves the time and space to deal with their own emotions.
If this is you, slow down and make some alone time for yourself so you can get your head and heart back in order. Give yourself time to heal Usually, your friends and family will recover from your bad break up much faster than you and will start encouraging (read: pressuring) you to date again. Sure, they mean well, but only you can tell when the time is right for you to start dating new people. All those totally random calculations about how long it takes to get over a relationship (I think they say it's a month per year?) are just that: random calculations.
Don't worry about not being "on schedule" for recovery. There isn't a schedule. In general, yes, it does take longer to get over long-term relationship than it does to get over flings, but a short, intense relationship could easily take months to get over. Time is not really an issue here. Emotional involvement is. If you were really into someone, you're going to hurt for longer. Period.
Take your time, do what you can to deal with your feelings and don't feel obliged to get into any new relationships until you are good and ready. Shift your focus Some people are lucky enough to be able to easily shift their focus to other areas of their lives after a break up and others are not so lucky. With a bit of determination, you can eventually teach yourself to see the bigger picture. Think of things you like about your life: your job, a hobby, etc. and try to concentrate on those for a while.
If you can't think of anything you like about your life right now, then you can use this opportunity to start fixing those areas. Start a new hobby, take a class, work on ways of improving your living and working situation - anything that can get you thinking about things other than bad relationships. Write through it OK, so I'm a writer and may be a bit biased about this, but writing is one of the best forms of therapy.

I find that writing with a pen in a notebook works better for me than typing, but that might not be the case for you. The most common method of doing this involves writing about 3 pages every morning when you wake up. They call it "Western meditation", because the idea is to start writing anything that comes into your head without stopping or correcting anything, until your 3 pages are up.

This may sound easy, but once you start, you may find yourself drifting off and having to keep coming back to the paper to write. This is one of the reasons why I prefer pen and paper to, say, Microsoft Word: the paper is much more forgiving when it comes to spelling mistakes.

The idea is to never show this writing to anyone, so you can write anything you want, no matter how personal. You can destroy it later, if you want so that nobody can ever find it. It helps focus your mind, puts your fears and emotions onto paper so you can see the clearly and it's incredibly liberatingIf at any point in the day or night you feel overwhelmed by your feelings, you can start writing again. As a bonus, if you use writing in your work (even if it's college essays), you'll find that your usual writing will flow better after about a week of doing this every day.

Take care of your body (and the rest will follow) Treating your body well will go a long way to making you feel generally better. It's tempting to drink a lot after a break up, eat a lot of unhealthy things or, alternatively, not eat at all (sometimes bad break ups make you lose your appetite).

However, all these things come with a nasty cost to pay afterwards. Treating your body well, on the other hand, will generally pay off and help you feel better about yourself. Make sure you eat regular, healthy meals with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables and don't overdo the chocolates (although some are nice every once in a while!). This is one of those times when it pays to get (healthy!) takeaway food or eat out if the alternative is sitting at home, being too depressed to cook. Exercise is a good way of making yourself feel better.

The body produces feel-good chemicals (endorphins) after a work out and those are much better for you than alcohol. Always take care to not overdo it, though. It's easy to over-tense your muscles when you're angry or upset, which could end up causing an injury. Light-moderate exercise is probably best, as well as those types of physical activity that calm your mind as well such as yoga, tai chi and other forms of martial arts, etc. I am a great fan of alternative medicine and have had a lot of success with things like aromatherapy, homeopathic remedies and Bach flower remedies. Getting an aromatherapy massage (or any other form of massage) can be a really nice thing to do and some essential oils are particularly good for sadness. If you live in a big city that has massage schools, you can even sometimes go to the student clinic and get a really cheap or free massage. Treat yourself (if you can, you should!) Speaking of massage, there's never a more important time to treat yourself to something special than after a bad break up. Depending on your budget you could take a holiday, go shopping, get a haircut or a makeover, take bubble baths, etc.

Whatever it is you like doing, now is the time to do it. Be kind to your emotions (and they'll be kind to you) Sad love songs are all very well and good, but beyond a certain point, they can lock you away in a bad mood. Pay tribute to your feelings by allowing yourself to grieve, but try not to lock yourself into a bad mood. Listen to more uplifting tunes, watch some sitcoms to make yourself laugh or go out and see your facourite band. Any of those things can help get you in a better mood.

Get help if you need it If things get too much, you can always seek professional help. Either locally or even on the phone or online. Talking things out with an objective, trained counsellor whose job is to listen and help you could be just the thing you need to help get you back on your feet. Things to make you feel better (Work in progress) Apart from flower remedies (listed below) the things that work best for me when I'm down are those that make me feel good about myself and,especially, my body. When you feel good about who you are, you know you have everything you need to find someone better. Working on your happiness from both the inside out (talking it out, writing, therapy) and the outside in (retail therapy, eating well, glamming up) is the best combination for getting your life back on track. The following list of links are a bit of both

Has your girl/boy friend dropped you ?

Has your girl/boy friend dropped you ?


Anyone who has gone through a breakup or divorce and has come out the other side with a broken heart, knows what we are talking about.



It can be a very painful experience!


One of the ways to help yourself to feel better and actually heal from a breakup or divorce is to begin to listen to what you are telling yourself. In other words, pay attention to your “self talk.”

Here are 5 ways to change 'self talk' to help you ease your pain from your breakup or divorce...

1. Become aware of what you are telling yourself.

Believe it or not, our houghts are habits that we've created along the way. For instance, there's the "guilt" set of thoughts, the "worry" set of thoughts, the "fear" set of thoughts, the "I'm always going to be alone" set of thoughts, the "nothing's wrong" set of thoughts or the "sunny outlook" set of thoughts--you get the idea.


2. Once you have become aware of your thoughts, decide the thoughts that make you feel better, easier about your situation and those that don't. Take a legal pad or notebook and at the top of the page, make 2 columns with these headings: "Feel better" and "Feel Worse."

Keep the legal pad or notebook where you can easily reach it. As thoughts come to you, write them down under one of those two categories. Do this long enough for you to see on paper, your patterns of thinking that are either helping you or pulling you down.

3. Identify one reoccurring thought or pattern that is bringing you pain and make the commitment to yourself to change it.
It could go something like this...

"I commit to changing my thoughts about how alone I am right now. I may not be with a partner right now but I don't have to constantly remind myself."

4. Chose a thought that is better.

Taking our example, this thought is probably not going to be that you are completely joyful, are with your perfect partner, or feel completely satisfied with your current situation. It may be that a better thought is that when a thought comes up about how alone you are, you change that thought to "I can call Bonnie or Carol and either talk with them or arrange to go to dinner or a movie."

5. Practice in each moment and break your habit.

Have you ever broken a habit? It takes being aware of what you are doing and then making a change in the moment. Your thought pattern is a habit and can be changed--but you have to believe the thought that you are changing to--and you have to practice it.

If feeling better is important to you, this is valuable information that will help you to move forward in your healing process from your breakup or divorce.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

English Pronunciation & phonetics




HOW TO IMPROVE PRONUNCIATION 



English Pronunciation & phonetics




Researched by
Santosh Chaudhary
PhD…... MBA, MA, DELTA*
ESL Trainer




*Diploma in English language training for adults from Cambridge University

Part -1


What is pronunciation?


[pruh-nuhn-see-ey-shuhn]
the act or result of producing the sounds of speech, including articulation, stress, and intonation, often with reference to some standard of correctness or acceptability.
There are three levels of English pronunciation:
Level 1: People often don't understand what you want to say. You use the wrong sounds in English words.
Level 2: People can understand what you want to say, but they have to concentrate to understand you.
Level 3: People can understand you easily. Your pronunciation is clear and pleasant.

The worst errors are:
talking too fast because you think it sounds native
skipping sounds (e.g. worl instead of world)
misplacing the stress (e.g. DEvelop instead of deVELop)
using the wrong sounds in a word, especially if the sounds are very different from the correct sounds (e.g. pronouncing determine so that it rhymes with mine or pronouncing target with a j sound)
confusing two different sounds (e.g. pronouncing slip and hit the same way as sleep and heat, pronouncing hope the same way as hop)





























How to improve English pronunciation
Pronunciation Tips
These English pronunciation tips will help you get the most out of your Pronunciation Power program.
I. Imitation
Observe the mouth movements of those who speak English well and try to imitate them. Watch television; observe the mouth movements of the speakers. Repeat what they are saying,
ii. Learn pitch, intonation and rhythms. Use the dictionary, learn phonetics.
If you speak too quickly, and with the wrong intonation and rhythm, native speakers will have a hard time understanding you. 
Try and familiarize yourself with the phonetic symbols of your dictionary. Look up the correct pronunciation of words that are hard for you to say.
iii. Word list
Make a list of frequently used words that you find difficult to pronounce and ask someone who speaks the language well to pronounce them for you.
iv. Recording.
Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare it with dictionaries sounds.
Many people hate to hear the sound of their voice and avoid listening to themselves speak. 
v. Read aloud in English for 15-20 minutes every day.
 Research has shown it takes about three months of daily practice to develop strong mouth muscles for speaking a new language.
Tip vi
Do not confuse pronunciation of words with their spelling! For example, "threw" and "through", although spelled differently, are pronounced the same. Also, identical letters or letter clusters in words do not always produce the same sound. For example, the "ough" in "though" and "through" represents a different sound in each word. Learn to practice what you hear, not what you see.
Tip vii
Imagine a sound in your mind before you say it. Try to visualize the positioning of your mouth and face. Think about how you are going to make the sound.
Tip VIII
The English language has many different dialects, and words can be pronounced differently. It is important, however, that you pronounce words clearly to ensure effective communication.
Tip Ix
Finally, the Pronunciation Power program is a tool to help you. But you must practice what you are learning! Remember that you are teaching your mouth a new way to move. You are building muscles that you do not use in your own language.
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Friday, October 14, 2011

personality development


Tips for Personality Development

Self-confidence- Self-confidence is a great mantra for a powerful personality. If you are not confident of your actions and decisions, you can never get success. Have a firm faith, determination and confidence in yourself as if you are sure of your decision, you will put your best efforts to achieve the goal, other persons will also show the confidence in you and then nothing can stop you from stepping the stairs of success.

Organize your mind- Organizing the mind means taking the charge of your thoughts, emotions and imagination and controlling the reactions, being systematic in every field of life, increasing the efficiency and tackling the difficulties and obstacles by preplanning and anticipation. The more organized you are, the more focused you are for your goals of life. Somebody has said that the way you think is the way you live. So organized thinking paves the way to success in every sphere of life.


Be loyal, honest and truthful- these qualities go a long way. By being mean or by ditching someone you can’t get anything in life. Remember one thing that there is no short cut to success and you can be successful only by being honest, determined to achieve what you want and by working hard.


Try to like other people- If you want that other people should give you attention and appreciate you, try to give attention to other people also. Be a good listener, listen to them politely and if you don’t like other person’s idea, never condemn or make a complaint about his idea, instead praise his good qualities. While communicating with others, always give honest and sincere replies. Never boost of yourself. Make other person feel that he is important and talk about other person’s interests. Be kind and show basic courtesies to other people.


Avoid indecisiveness- Take all the decisions yourself. Never depend on anybody for taking the decisions on your behalf. Don’t let indecision plague you as indecisiveness may cause failure and future leads to regretful conditions.
Feel good about your accomplishments and analyze your mistakes- Analyze your mistakes and learn a lesson from them and never ever compare yourself with anybody else as everybody commits some mistakes in life and no one is perfect on this earth. Your confidence and self esteem should not get eclipsed by the fear of failure. Feel good about your accomplishments and maintain a list of them. Every time you achieve some goal, give yourself a reward. Be a true friend of yourself and try to find and recognize your weaknesses as well as your strong points, jot them down on a paper and start working on your weaknesses to replace them with your strong qualities.


Try to look good- At first sight, a person is judged by his physical personality as it is said first impression is the last impression. Maintain the right posture of your body. It means that you should always sit and stand straight. Try to look good and you will feel good about yourself. It will increase your confidence level also. Whenever you feel lack of confidence, go for some change in your wardrobe, get your hair style changed or if you are a little heavy, try to shed some weight by exercise or cutting down some extra calories and you will more energetic, confident and fresh since a change is as good as a rest.


Maintain a good life style- Maintain a good and healthy life style as it is a key to healthy body and sound mind. Don’t be a fast food junkie, instead have a balanced diet that contains lots of green leafy vegetables and fruits. Sleep for at least 6 to 8 hours a day because if you don’t sleep for adequate amount of time, your efficiency decreases and it hampers your productivity. Say no to alcohol, smoking or sleeping pills. Reduce your intake of tea or coffee as caffeine is very harmful for your body. Indulge in some physical activities like brisk walk, swimming or aerobics daily. To improve your concentration and decision making quality, practice yoga and meditation.


Sense of humor- Sense of humor is also an important component of a pleasing personality. Maintain good sense of humor and learn to laugh at yourself also. But sense of humor does not mean laughing when something wrong happens with other person.


Positive thinking and positive doing- Avoid negative attitude towards life as positive thinking is the key to success in any field of life. But we should replace positive thinking into positive doing also. Many a times, we think of so many positive things and like to do them but the fear of failure or difficulties stop us from turning those positive thoughts into reality. You should understand that these obstacles test your capabilities and you should not let them bother you too much. At this time, just think of your past accomplishments no matter how small or big they are and just go through the difficulties or hurdles you faced to accomplish them. It will give a sense of confidence. Face these challenges, do your best under all circumstances and you will feel the great feeling of accomplishment.


Be a good speaker- To be a good speaker is also an aspect of a good personality. If you have to make a speech, first of all make a lay out of the speech and write down each and every thought in a proper sequence that you want to include in your speech and while giving the speech, you can refer to these points. Give a proper introduction and conclusion as they are very important parts of the speech. Never cram your speech word to word. Don’t try to be too loud. Keep your speech short and to the point. Physical gestures and expressions are also important to connect with the audience. Take pause at the proper points and put emphasis on certain important words. Speak with authority and don’t be monotonous. Bring a little humor in your speech and make the audience laugh occasionally. If there is a large audience and you are feeling nervous, look into the eyes of only one person at a time as if you are talking to him. Make the


Control your fear and worries- Conquer your fears and worries, stress and anxiety. When these thoughts come in your mind, instead of wasting your time in thinking what will happen to you in future, think of new ideas and solutions and keep yourself as busy as you can. You should know that most of our fears and worries don’t get materialized at all. Prepare yourself for the unexpected and always be ready to face what comes in your way.


Strike a balance among your personal, professional and social life- Maintaining a balance in your life for harmony and happiness. Don’t bring office work at home on weekends and in office be determined to give your 100%. Develop a social circle and try to spend your time with people who have positive attitude towards life.


Concentrate your goals- Be focused and concentrate on your goals. Avoid all the distractions and give put your entire attention to one goal. By doing this, you will be ale to identify the obstacles and hurdles associated with it and once you identify the obstacles, half of your job is done. Now focus on every problem according to its priority.


Time management- Proper time management improves your efficiency and makes you able to reach the epitome of success. By organizing your time you can do everything you want. Maintain a planner and make a to-do list for every day. Prioritize all your tasks according to their importance. Don’t delay your decisions as it wastes a lot of your time. Don’t think of the past instead, use today’s time for tomorrow’s planning.


Relaxation- Don’t be a workaholic as all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. Keep some time for relaxation and recreational activity. Listen to music, enjoy nature or practice breathing techniques for relaxation. Take a small break and go to a nearby hill station and enjoy. It really helps to eliminate stress and anxiety from you life